Space They Cannot Touch

42.

You groggily opened your eyes, which were virtually glued shut. Tessa was still curled up next to you, your arm resting over her, hand holding onto her paw. Dot was asleep on the other end of the couch, her head resting in her palm.

You sat up, groaning quietly as you did. You needed to pee and brush your teeth. You quietly padded to the bathroom, careful not to disturb Dot. Your reflection was better than you'd thought it would be; evidently Dot had wiped off your makeup as you slept. Your hair was messy and knotted, your skin paunchy and pale, with puffy purple bags forming underneath hollow eyes.

You stared at yourself as you brushed your teeth, the night before seeping into your mind like pervasive damp. You couldn't believe how foolish you'd been last night, acting like you were 18 again. You cursed yourself for even owning this stupid dress.

"I look like a fucking prostitute" you growled, spitting in the sink and hurriedly removing the dress, as if it were contaminated with some malicious disease. You held the dress in your hands, glaring at it. It was the perpetrator of everything bad last night. You wanted to rip it to shreds, to destroy every last piece of it so that last night could never happen again.

The longer you held the dress in your hands the stronger urge to destroy the dress became and, wearing just your g-string, you stomped out to the kitchen and dumped the dress in the sink, rummaging through the drawers for the lighter, muttering under your breath as you did.

"Y/N?" Dot mumbled, rubbing her eyes as she woke up.

"A-HA!" you declared, eyes lighting upon the little yellow lighter. You wasted no time, dousing the dress in oil and flicking the lighter before Dot could even ask what you were doing.

"Y/N WHAT THE FUCK?!" Dot cried, running to the kitchen and searching desperately for something to douse the flames, which quickly ate up the dress.

You barely paid her any attention, so focused on burning the dress in its entirety, relighting the fabric in a few places where it hadn't caught. Overhead the fire alarm screeched, sending Tessa into a wild barking fit.

"Y/N!" Dot yelled, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

You continued to burn the dress, ignoring the flames that licked at your fingers and hands. You felt somewhat removed from yourself, as if you were watching from a distance. You knew you should stop but you couldn't. Or wouldn't.

"Fucks sake, HARRISON!" Dot yelled, hitting the fire alarm with a broom to make it shut up. "It's ok Tess, good girl, good girl, HARRISON!"

You were mesmerised by the flames and thus didn't notice Harrison until he'd grabbed hold of your arms and dragged you away from the burning sink.

"Let go of me" you growled, fighting futilely against him.

"Y/N, stop! Stop! It's burnt, it's gone, stop!" Harrison yelled at you, holding your wrists tightly as Tessa barked and the fire alarm screamed.

Still you fought, determined to ensure that there wasn't one last shred of that goddamned dress. Harrison began to haul you down the hallway, ignoring your attempts to free yourself.

Harrison threw you on the bed, grabbing the doona and throwing it over you before lying on top of you, the doona between the two of you. You squirmed underneath him, unaware that you were sobbing and gasping "I have to burn it, I have to" repeatedly.

"It's okay, Y/N, it's okay" Harrison murmured, voice strained as he tried to remain calm.

"I have to, I have to, I have to" you whimpered, your voice becoming hoarse.

"It's gone, I promise it's gone. The dress is gone" Harrison said reassuringly, eyes pinched.

You gradually stopped squirming to free yourself, your sobs settling until they were shaky breaths.