Trainee | 박지민

XXXIX

39

Author's POV

"Uhh," he rubs his nape in awkwardness. Honestly, Jimin didn't know why he had called her out in the park, and she doesn't know why she agreed to see him either. Both were reluctant on being truthful to their hearts.

He sighs in exasperation from his stuttering self. "I never got to say I'm sorry-"

"You don't have to. It's fine, I get it. You don't really have to remind me of how many times you're rejecting me." Mia coldly says as she avoids eye contact.

"No, that's not it." He raises his volume to get the message across. "I don't want to reject you. I just-"

"Jimin," she cuts him off with a chuckle. "Can you stop playing? It's really starting to piss me off. It's pissing me off so much 'cause I keep on falling for that trap, and to be honest, I'm so sick of this shit."

"I love you!"

The abrupt words that fall out of his mouth immediately shut her up. Feeling much more confused than ever, her eyebrows connect as her tears begin to gather. Those words that she never dreamed would come out of his mouth halted her breathing.

Jimin jaws flex as he tilts his head down. He didn't mean to tell her these secret feelings of his because he didn't want to make her suffer even more. But he wanted to stop her rants of rage that made her start to hate herself. She wasn't worthless. She was closest to perfection in his eyes, he loved her and he loves her, and he wanted her to know that she is loved.

"Mia-" Tears are now evident on both faces, the sparkle on both eyes competes for the shiniest one. "I love you so fucking much and it hurts me to see you like this. Blaming yourself, accusing and hating yourself; these are all my doings. And if these are the effects I cause on you, I can't let me taint you."

"What, Jimin, no." Mia sputters out what she can. She is full of jumbled confusing emotions and needs a while to process things in her mind. She stoops her head down between both palms of her hand as she sobs out the tears of melancholic ecstasy.

"What the heck, Jimin!" She elevates her head to meet his teary face.

"You don't make me worse as a person. It's the complete opposite! Whenever you're not around, it's like I'm breathing through a small straw, and you come to take that straw away. You bring a smile to my face and you make me forget the stress and pressure from the real world. Why do you think the opposite?" She steps closer to the crying boy whose face is now lowered.

Everything Mia just said makes him feel relieved that his presence in her life made somewhat of a positive effect despite all the negative.

Mia embraces the fragile boy, pulling his head to her chest and he gives in to the comfort. She runs her fingers through his soft silky hair, the touch causing shivers down his spine.

"You didn't cause me to hate myself, in fact, it seems that I have caused you to hate yourself. Whenever you see that I'm down, you blame yourself for it. Not everything is your fault, okay? I want you to stop being harsh to yourself because you yourself are perfect the way you are. I love the way you are," Mia's tears escape her eyes as she says the last sentence.

"I'm so sorry," Jimin's hands encircle around her waist, pulling her closer as he buries his head on her shoulder. "I'm sorry for the dumb decisions I made, thinking they were the best thing to do. That only hurt you more, and I feel so stupid," he holds onto Mia tightly as if she's leaving as he continues to cry.

"Shhhh that's enough," she consoles into his ears. "Do you remember what you said the other night?"

Jimin pulls away from the hug to view the girl, questioning her words with a hum.

"You said it's okay to be selfish sometimes." Mia's hand goes up to his cheek with a sweet smile on her face. "So I hope you can be selfish for me. Because I love you too."

Jimin's heart pounds like a blacksmith's hammer in his chest and eyes glisten in clear joy. He stares at her precious face in shock as he tries to figure out if he's in reality. He cups her face in his palms, feeling the warmth, validating he's not dreaming.

A smile gently creeps up to his now flushing face. He covers this as he submerges the smaller girl in a hug, trapping her hands by her sides.

"I promise, I'll be selfish," he boldly declares.

"I don't even know if that's a good thing anymore," she giggles while breaking the hug.

Jimin's face is stern as he eyes her gloomily. Sweats that break out on his forehead from his crying earlier causes some of his hair to cling messily across his skin. The streetlights seem to glint more on his red plump lips, making Mia gulp anxiously. "I want you to be mine."