Lust Actually

Chapter 21

Love is just a merely 4 letter word but the impact of it can sum up a thousand times of heartbreak and a million times of happiness...

Continuation of Gin's POV...

Pagkatapos ng meeting nila ay hindi ko na nakausap si Ashton dahil may biglaang tawag sa kanya dahilan ng biglaan nyang pag alis.

"Don't even think going out with that bastard, got that?"

"What? How can I when you already decided for me awhile ago?!" gago sya!

"Yeah, of course I did. I don't share my woman." he smirked. "And yeah, don't skip your lunch," he said while pressing the button down and looked at me before entering the elevator. Fine!, sabay irap sa kanya.

I stayed at my desk for long hours still wondering where the hell Janice is. She's not even replying to me... I dialed Jen's number.

"Hey Jen... Where you today?"

"Hey... I'm at the airport. Will be gone for a couple of weeks babe.. I'm attending some convention at CA.. Dad's been makulit with this one, pagbigyan na. Are you okay?" 

"Oh okay.. Yeah, im okay. Just wondering where you are. Have a safe flight then. Let's do facetime once you reach your hotel. I miss you.. You take care," i said cheerfully. 

"I will... Missing you too... Will see you in two weeks babe. You take care too... Love lots," and she hangs up. The thought of no Jen made me feel empty. I can still reach out to my family, I'm sure they're going to rush over here with me being alone and lonely. 

To Ashton: Are you still coming back? ... I waited for an hour then two but no reply. Maybe he's busy. I go down to cafeteria and see HR team getting their lunch too.

"Hey Gin. Join us over here,"  the charming one invited me, if i remembered it right, her name is Kristel. Pinaunlakan ko na lang after all they'll be my team mates once im transferred in their department. Or is it even possible now? Their group are so fun to be with.. Well except to those two who were with us the night prior the drugged thing.  Nagpaalam na din akong mauuna sa kanila. I texted Ashton again.

To Ashton: Are you okay?
 
Still, no reply.. Where the hell is this guy? Was he mad? We were so engrossed with each other earlier and now leaving me just like this? I guess he's not really into me, i'm just a past time but I can feel his sincerity in Tagaytay and even this morning. I bit my lips with the thoughts..

I drown myself to reading and browsing the net. Then spent time learning from scratch. I still remember to file some documents that I failed to do last week. It's almost 6 o'clock and there's no Ashton coming. It saddened me though.. I missed him already, im really getting used of his presence now. I grab my bag and decided to go. I passed by at Glorietta and do some shopping. I stopped at the fine restaurant and ordered fettuccine. I can't believe i shopped more than like a shoppaholic today. I just realized it while looking at the paper bags in front of me. It's a habit whenever I feel isolated.

I looked around while waiting for my food when the built of Ashton caught my eye. Who's with him? I suddenly felt the urge of approaching him but decided not to. I just stare at him hoping he can see me in a distance.

Then there's this pretty woman who came across the comfort room and heading to where Ashton is. And its hard to notice Ashton's affection towards her. My heart sank when the girl kissed Ashton's lips and hugged him so tight. Shit! I looked away trying to search for something. This isn't right. Why am i getting hurt! I prepared myself for this but why so sudden.? I am trembling that i cant hold all of the shopping bags. I need to get out of here while i can still hold my tears.

I hailed a cab and gone straight to my apartment. I search for my cigarette as my mind couldn't function right. I've been puffing my cigarette like crazy. I bite my nails while sitting at the kitchen chair with my legs on the table. I thought he's with Clint. I thought of riding their babies a racing but nah im totally fooled.

I cried and cried like there's no tomorrow. See? You were so stubborn that you forgot you're just a one night stand woman. I can compete with that woman if we're just talking with beauty like literally. I am more taller than her. Her skin so soft and so are mine. Looking at how she carries herself is commendable, maybe she's from an elite family too just like the Lorenzos. One thing though, that woman's face is so sweet that can melt every guys heart while mine has a strong feature just like my father's. No wonder Ashton been so engrossed looking at her. And i cried again.. Bwisit na mga luha talaga to! Kailangan bukas wala ka ng ilalabas ha?!

I tried browsing netflix to get rid of my heartaches and found spongebob movies. Buti pa si spongebob, he's always embracing the present enthusiastically and not afraid of welcoming toworrow. Nasa ganun akong pag iisip ng biglang tumunog ang cellphone ko. Ashton's calling! Tinaob ko yung phone ko, i don't want to answer it. Malalaman nyang umiiyak ako.. Then a text message.

"From Ashton: Hey im sorry i got stucked up with friends today. Hope you got home safe.. And by the way, i've read Janice letter.. It's resignation. Let's please discuss tomorrow. Have a good night."

And i cried again. Got stucked with friends huh? God damn! The image of them kissing still lingers in my mind. Why do i have to see it? Of all places why there?? And why am i so damned affected? Its not like he promised to be with me forever or marry me. We were just a partner in bed, nothing more nothing less.

I'll hand him my resignation too.. I can't continue working with him. I hate him and yet loving him so much that it hurts.

That one night made things so complicated. Who would have thought that my curiosity on that one night will lead me to heartaches. This is me being so careless and this is me being in love. I really hate this soft part of me, it makes me crazy and wild and weary and depressed. At wala akong pwedeng sisihin kundi ang sarili kong kagagawan. How am i supposed to react with it? I honestly dont know.

I opened my fridge and took 1 can of beer.. Magpapakalunod na lang muna ako sa alak..  Good thing i always have them with me.

Enough crying, Izygyn. You're doing fine.