Lust Actually

Chapter 33

We don't need validation in love. We set our own choices. Choices from getting hurt and choices of getting bind and trap to its own spell.

Gin's POV

I locked myself in my room for a couple of days. I stay away from any information outside. I stop using my phone and have the television set removed from my room. I don't want distraction.. I need space.

If you think I'll be swayed by your comforting words, Lorenzo.. Hah! Think again.

I even put "Isolated place. Do not disturb" board hanging in my room's door.

Our home is in chaos when our family started to make issues of me being dump or something? Ugh.. I plunge myself to the cat shape cushion and settled on a can of beer and a pack of cigarettes. My cousins were calling me through the door saying, "We'll kill that bastard, Z. Just come outside please."

Pansamantala lang naman. Feeling ko kasi ang pangit pangit ko na sa kakaiyak. And I hate being ugly at times like this. I need to be beautiful again. No more ex. No more guys. They'll just rot in hell!

When Enrique and I broke up, hindi ganito.. Nagpakalasing lang ako then the next day I found myself losing my virginity to someone I barely know. Ngayon, brokenhearted ulit ako.. What should I do then? A smile plastered to my face.

I started browsing for a great tattoo on the desktop that I forgot to throw. For a better me.

I need to get this ink to my body..

Where will be the better replacement? On my nape? Yeah... I'll get it done tomorrow morning. That soon.. Kailangan ko ng may paglilibangan.. Kailangan ko ng may bago akong nakikita.

In the next morning, I called one of our maids to clean up my room, I already am suffocated from smoking and smoking. I put on a very loose sando paired with ripped jeans and just a slip-on as my footwear. I didn't bring with me my phone too. It was stuck somewhere.

"Whoah! The monk's already getting out of her shell. How's the isolated place, Dada? Did you enjoy it there?" Mitch trying to joke the isolation process

"Oh.. Im good." i answered mockingly.. "Come with me.. I need some support," sabay hila sa kamay nya. Wala na syang nagawa kundi magpahila sa akin.

"Da, before I forget. There's this certain Ashton guy who keeps on bugging us in the telephone, he can't reach you in your mobile number daw eh. He even sends flowers, it's in the dirty kitchen though. Kawawang mga bulaklak nagkalanta lanta na...." nang biglang may nag doorbell.. Pinasok ang kalaki laking bulaklak.. "Then, there's another one. Tadaaaa!" Mitch spread her arms like it's a surprise..

"Is it a wreath? I'm not dead yet, kuya. Can you please return it to the owner? Kindly put a note.. Fuck you... Got that?" and I dismissed the delivery man. Mitch was bickering all over our trip.

"OMG! You're getting a tattoo, Da? Did you ask Nanay or Tatay?" I just didn't entertain her bubbly mouth. I put on my headset and stop Mitch from entering the room. "Just stay there.."

I know my parents will really get mad with me getting a tattoo but I'm already old enough to explore some shit.

I wanted to scream with that little tingling thing that's piercing on my skin. It's like a sorcerer invading every thin flesh in me. I endured the pain for 2 hours.. I got one in my nape - a lotus, I fell in love with it the first time.. It symbolizes purity.. Purity of my soul people, we all know i'm not pure anymore; in my arm - a proverbs which symbolizes a woman's beauty - a favorite verse of mine; in my left shoulder blade - a dove which symbolizes peace and calmness. Already had three.. For the first timer? I endured a lot.! I love it though.