N Has Fallen

XXIX - Redamancy

XXIX - Redamancy

Redamancy
noun
/red-a-man-sE/
the act of loving the one who loves you; a love returned in full

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He didn't waste any more time. Pulling her close, he kissed her. Letting her know how much he missed her, how much he despised himself for hurting her and how much he loves her. "I would never be worthy of you but I promise I would make myself better to deserve you. I love you so much." Tears streamed down his face and she wiped it away, gently touching his cheeks.

"I love you too. My Noah." He leaned his forehead on hers, letting his tears fall. Thanking her for giving him a chance.

"T-that night when you, w-when you started to take off your shirt begging for me to stay..." He couldn't continue. He pulled her close, hugging her so tight like he was afraid she would change his mind and leave him.

She rubbed his back, kissing his cheek. "Noah..."

Cupping her face in his hands, he told her weakly. His voice vulnerable and broken. "D-don't do that love." He caressed her cheeks, closing her eyes she leaned into his touch. "I realized I had ruined you when you did that. I-I don't want you to do that." He was having a hard time speaking, like recalling the memory alone hurt him. "I would never take you like that. Never." She felt her tears fall, remembering that night. He kissed her lips gently. "I would wait till you're ready but not like that, not like t-that. It torments me how you think your body could be the answer, that your body could be the solution just so I would stay. It torments me how little you think of yourself."

"I didn't know any other way of making you stay." She spoke weakly.

He only held her close, his heart breaking once more at how fragile she sounded. "Your innocence is not the answer and I would forever hate myself for making you think like that just so I wouldn't leave."

"Noah..." He kissed her head.

"My angel." He embraced her, his arms tightly wrapped around her. "I love you. I love you. I love you." He kept on repeating as if it was his own personal prayer. "I'm so sorry for everything. Thank you for giving me another chance." He would worship her all his life for giving him another chance, he would kneel if he has to and he would kill again if he has to. His Jessica is here again. All his. And he swore he'd treat her right this time. She's his again. All his. He repeated in his head just so he wouldn't go insane. Or maybe he already was. Being this deep in love couldn't be sane, he was almost certain he's crazy.

"Mine. All mine." He cupped her face while kissing her. Leaving kisses all over her face. "So fucking beautiful and mine."

"Yours Noah. Solely yours." Her declaration made his heart soar.

"And I'm yours baby. Mind, body, heart and soul. All yours."

If this was before, she wouldn't be sure if he really was hers. There are a lot of pretty girls he hadn't seen, lots of smart girls he hadn't met, but as he spoke now she believes him. All doubts are erased. "You have no competition." She laughed with what he said. "With you however, I have a lot I need to..." he tried searching for the right word, "...eliminate. You're just so perfect that's why."

"I'm not." She argued.

"You can't change my mind about that. You may think you're flawed but for me those flaws makes you my Jessica and you're perfect just like that." He always says the best things to her. "You're so beautiful, so kind, so warm, so beautiful and so fucking beautiful." She chuckled. "I wouldn't hesitate in removing people that comes between us." He kissed her lips gently. "I love you. God, I'm so fucking inlove with you."