Sweeter than Honey-Sarah Paulson

I'm sorry🖤

The next day you wake up pretty late, you didn't sleep or eat due to Sarah.
You check your phone, she didn't call or even text you.
You start to cry again, but you manage to go to school.
[7:01 am]
Y/N: I love you, I'm so sorry please, I can't stay without you.
You sigh and go to take the bus.
As you arrive in front of your school, everyone looks at you.
"You can't enter you dike!", you hear one of your classmates scream.
"Fuck", you think. You forgot that the principal expelled you.
"Wow perfect, I won't even take my diploma, good job y/n", you say to yourself.
You try to call Sarah again, but of course she doesn't answer.
Sarah, on the other hand, was crying too. She didn't sleep all night, but she was still mad at you.
You decide to go back home and take some sleep.
As you open the door, your mom slaps you.
"What the FUCK?!", you scream.
"The principal called. Are you out of your mind y/n?!", she screams.
"No, I'm not", you say.
"A relationship with someone that older than you? Specially with a WOMAN? Are you a fucking lesbian now?".
"Yes mom! Yes, I'm lesbian and so?!", you scream.
"That's disgusting!", she says.
"Fuck you! And I love Miss Paulson okay? I fucking love her and I don't care of what you think!".
"You are completely insane, jesus christ! I want to meet that bitch and-"
"Don't you ever dare to call her like that", you angrily say.
"I don't want you here anymore. Or you leave her, or you leave this fucking house", your mom says.
"I think you already know the answer", you say running into your bedroom.
"Where do you think you are going?!".
"To prepare my suitcase! I'm going away from this fucking house and from you! God I hate you with all my heart", you say before slamming the door.
You take some of your clothes and a few things you need.
"If you leave this house now, I don't ever want to see you again".
"Well, bye then", you angrily say before leaving the house.
You wonder around the city for all the morning and eat a small sandwich for lunch.
During the afternoon you decide to go at Sarah's house.
You nervously knock at the door, as Sarah opens it you start to cry. You can see that Sarah has been crying too, her eyes are red and puffy.
"W-what are you doing here?", she asks, she tries to be rough but you can see that she is happy to see you.
"I know that you left me b-but my mom discovered our relationship and she doesn't want to see me ever again. I don't know where to sleep, c-can I stay here at least for a couple of days?", you ask and her eyes wide.
"Of course you can", she whispers.
You enter in the house with your suitcase,
"I'll sleep in the guest room", you say.
Sarah nods, you sigh because you thought she would let you sleep with her.
"W-what are these?", she asks grabbing your arm.
"Oh, now you care? I called you hundred times Sarah, but you didn't answer!", you say as you start to cry.
"Did you hurt y-yourself?", she asks as she cries too.
"It's not your business anymore did you forget? We aren't together anymore", you angrily say before slamming the door.
You spent the afternoon crying in bed, sometimes you hear Sarah crying too. This situation breaks your heart, you only want her back.
You exit from the room and go in the kitchen to drink a glass of water.
Sarah exits from her room,
"Hey", she says approaching you.
"Hey".
"I'm sorry", she starts, "I shouldn't have said that".
"What?", you ask.
"That.. you are not my girlfriend anymore", she says looking down.
"No, you shouldn't have", you softly say.
There is a nervous silence, "Do you.. do you still love me?", you ask as tears come down from your eyes.
"Of course I do y/n", she says looking at you in the eyes.
"But?".
"But I'm still mad", she adds.
"I know that I did a wrong thing, but it was a mistake", you explain.
"A big one..", she sarcastically says.
"Jesus Sarah I'm just trying to excuse me! I just want to make peace with you!", you say.
"To be sorry it's not enough this time y/n! I lost my job!".
"Well the principal expelled me, you left me, my mom doesn't want to see me anymore, I'm hurt too but I don't act like you do!".
"It's not my fault if all of these happened", she firmly replies.
"You are unbelievable", you almost whisper before going away.
"YOU are unbelievable! How can you act like nothing happened?", she screams following you.
"I don't act like nothing happened, but I don't treat you like shit! I said I'm sorry hundred times, I just want to be with you again, I don't know what else to do", you say softly crying.
Sarah doesn't answer, she goes back in the kitchen and you run in the bathroom.
You wash your face and try to calm down a bit.
As you exit, Sarah approaches you,
"Do you, mh want dinner?", she asks.
"No, thanks", you say not facing her.
"You have to eat, please".
"I said no, I'm not hungry and you shouldn't care".
"Stop this y/n! I still care about you because I still love you! So fucking much! So now you come to have dinner with me and then you show me your arms", she firmly says.
"You are not my mother, you don't tell me what to do", you say.
"Well your mother doesn't care about you anymore so-"
"Thanks for the remind", you say before going away.
"I'm sorry y/n, please!", Sarah tries to say.
"You are sorry? Sarah I don't recognize you anymore, you are treating me so badly, you don't know how much you are hurting me right now", you say, "I don't know if you remember but you once said that the last thing you wanted to see in your life was me, hurt. Well, compliments because you made me hurt like this", you say before disappearing in the room.
Sarah stays there, speechless, understanding that she was overreacting a bit.
Half an hour later you hear a knock at the door, but you don't answer.
"Y/N open the door", she says. No response.
"Open it, I have a spear key I could enter anyway".
You sigh, opening it, "What do you want?", you ask.
"I've made dinner", she says entering in the room with a soup.
"I said I'm not hungry", you cut her off.
She sighs, "I'll leave it here, you don't have to come and eat with me", she says and then exits from the room.
You don't eat it, but just because you feel sick. You lay down in bed again, trying to not cry and almost falling asleep.
You hear the door opens again, you turn around to look at her.
"You didn't eat", she says worried.
"Sarah I'm just feeling sick okay?", you say as you get up.
"But you have to eat something", she says and she caresses your cheek.
You relax at the touch,
"I promise you tomorrow morning I'll eat something. As I said, I'm felling sick and also a lot tired".
"You didn't sleep?".
"How could I sleep?", you say.
"I didn't sleep too", she says.
You stare at each other's for what seems hours, you almost lean to kiss her, you couldn't resist anymore.
"So.. goodnight?", she says.
"Yeah, uhm.. goodnight", you say sighing. Both of you were hoping in something else, Sarah quickly smiles at you before going away.
You lay down in bed and quickly fall asleep, but you wake up in the middle of the night, feeling anxious.
"Oh shit, not again", you whisper to yourself.
Your breath becomes irregular, you start to shake and cry.
Sarah wasn't sleeping too and she hears sobs from your room,
"S-Sarah?", you try to call.
She runs to you,
"Are you okay?", she asks worried.
You shake your head, "I c-can't.. I-", you manage to say.
She sits down next to you, taking your face in her hands, "Try to breath, with me", she starts to slowly breath and you copy her actions.
"Like this, good babe", she says caressing your hair.
You still cry hard, "Shh", she whispers kissing your forehead.
Your breath slowly becomes regular again, "C-can you h-hold me?", you almost whisper.
"Yes, of course I'll", she says and you literally throw yourself into her arms.
She holds you tight into her embrace, "Try to calm down. I'm here okay?", she sweetly says. You nod,
"This is m-my third p-panic attack since y-yesterday", you say.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry baby I have been a stupid bitch, I left you alone", she says caressing your back.
"I don't want t-to talk about it now, you are here t-that's all I care about at the moment", you say before looking at her.
She nods, and she lays down, "I'll hold you all night", she says, "Don't worry, you are safe", you lay down in her arms and she hugs you.
"I'm sorry Sarah", you whisper.
"Shh, sleep now", she says cuddling you.
"I just want you to forgive me", you say with a tremble voice.
"I already have, please now relax and sleep, we will talk in the morning", she says hugging you tight.