I Can't

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You were walking in the woods. You were going someplace. You didn't know where. In fact, you had no set destination.

The only thing you had with you, was the change from when you went to the donut shop, the picture of your mom, and your pocket knife.

Leaning against a giant tree, you sigh. You look up to the night sky. The openings in the leaves showing beautiful stars.

You slip down the trunk of the tree slowly. A pain shot through your said as you got to a sitting position. You groaned slightly, in pain.

You lifted your shirt to reveal a bruise that covered your entire side. You sighed, remembering how you had gotten it.
~~~~~~~
Flash Back two days before the move.
~~~~~~~
You were walking through school. Your first period teach turned to you as she stood at the front of the class.

"This is your last day right?" Mrs. Coral, your teach asked.

"Uh, Y-Yes ma'am." You stuttered.

Some of the students giggle at your nervousness.

"Well then let's all wish her fair well." Mrs. Coral smiled.

"Good bye Lesbo Loser! Hope to never see ya again!" Jackson, the school dare devil, yelled from across the room.

All the students began to laugh.

Mrs. Coral narrowed her eyes. "Jackson, that is not funny. How dare you call her such a discriminating name like that."

"But that's what she is. A lesbian freak." Jessica, the most popular girl in your grade told the teacher.

Mrs. Coral made a face of disgust as she turned back to you. She didn't do anything about what the other students said. She merely continued with the day.

Before you left you heard her say, "I'm glad that sin won't be in my class any longer."

You hung your head low as you walked away from the class.

Which was a mistake.

You bumped into the school's biggest and meanest foot ball player. He was a jock that showed no sympathy, no remorse, and no mercy.

"Hey watch where you're going, You slutty lesbian!" He yelled at you.

Students in the hall began to snicker.

You almost cowered. In fact you should have, however you were as tall as him. You felt brave. You buffed up to him.

"I am not slutty, you man whore!" You shot back much to your regret.

His fist slammed right into your side. "I guess I need to teach you your place, you freak." He grabbed you by your collar and slammed you against the wall.

He repeatedly punched your side, stomach, chest, and arms. Pain streamed through you. Tears slipped from your eyes.

He laughed. "Not so big now are ya. Your a horrible sin. Remember that, and live like that." He told you as he released his grip on your collar.

You fell to the floor. Students around began to take pictures. All of them were laughing and giggling.

They all said things as they took their pictures and walked away, such as:

"She didn't stand a chance."

"Why'd she even try?"

"He showed her!"

"She really did need to remember her place."

"Where did that freak think she was getting?"

"Did she really think she could win?!"

You covered your ears and ran to your next class. All of your class mates continued to talk about you though so it wasn't like it helped much.

No teacher seemed to care. They all rolled their eyes and continued with their day.

The day had ended after what had seemed like forever and you tried to leave quickly only to be stopped by him again.

"Well hello again little freak." He grinned.

You apparently hadn't learned your lesson. "I'm not little." You told him. Which was another mistake, another regret, and a lot more pain.

By the time you actually got out of the school, you were limping home. You couldn't go very fast. When you made it home you slipped past your dad and sat in your mostly packed up room.

You didn't want him to know about your new bruises.
~~~~~~
Present day
~~~~~~

Your dad still didn't know about the bruise on your side. He knew about the other ones though.

He knew about everything, the bullying, the lies, and now your drinking.

You pulled out your pocket knife. The blade shimmered in the moon light. You touched the metal to your skin.

You trace your wrist with the blade. You were debating the next step.

"I can't do this!" You choked out as tears began to spill down your cheeks. You threw your knife into the woods.

You hugged your knees to your chest. You cried uncontrollably.

Hanging your head down you continued to cry.

"Y/N, What's wrong?" Your head shot up and you saw who spoke. It was Lapis and Steven.

You scrambled to your feet. "N- Nothing! I should be going though." You laughed nervously as you began walk away.

However, Lapis wasn't having it. She grabbed your wrist and pulled you back towards her.

"Let go of me!" You yelled yanking your arm away from her. Your elbow went back into your side and you groaned in pain.

"Why do you keep running Y/N?" Lapis asked you.

" I'm not running.." you lied.

" Yes you are!"Lapis snapped.

You flinched under her words. You held your arms out shielding any slaps, or punched that might be made. When no contact was made to your arms or any other part of your body, you lowered your arms slowly.

Steven and Lapis both wore concerned glances. "Are you scared I'll hurt you?" Lapis asked you, tears brimming in her eyes.

"No, I just..." You sigh. "I'm not scared of you specifically hurting me. I'm scared of.... Well everyone hurting me. " You say tears forming in your eyes.

" Why Y/N?" Steven asked you.

"Because I'm different and everyone's always hated me for it." You tell them.

" And they would harm you because you were different." Lapis asked.

You only nod. You look away from the two in front of you, unsure of what to say or what to do. Suddenly you felt someone grab your hand. You turn to find Lapis smiling and looking  you I the eye.

"Come with me and Steven back to his place. He convinced all of us to have a sleep over."

"I uh... Sure. " You said not wanting to go home.

" Great. " Lapis took your hand and began to walk. You gripped her hand back and walked beside her. Steven followed after the two of you.
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Yeah, um, writers block sucks. Like I'm seriously stuck in every single book. I need some motivation to continue writing.

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