Hello Stranger- I'm a Disaster (Freddie Mercury love story)

44.) One Thousand and One

I wake up and I know I've got to open my eyes and face the day, but I keep them closed and roll over in the bed. I don't want to move. I'm so comfortable and warm. I must've been really worn out last night.

I don't even remember falling asleep. I had told Freddie and his mom that I was going to bed, but I only said that because I wanted to avoid the impending conversation to be had.

Truthfully, my mind had been worried and now that I at least knew Freddie was home, I was able to finally fall asleep with ease.

It smells heavenly in here, like a fresh spring day after it's rained. Strange since it's still the middle of winter. Rubbing my hand over my face, I open my eyes and my mouth falls open at the sight before me.

I'm lying in a radiant sea of yellow daffodils. My favorite. All around the room, every inch from the tops of the dressers down every free space of floor were dazzling exquisite bouquets.

I wiggle myself to the end of the bed and there is just enough of a little path for me to walk through the numerous vases holding beautiful vibrant flowers. I bend down and pick one up from the vase that sits on the night stand next to the bed. Twirling it between my fingers, a small smile creeps across my lips and I bring it up to my nose to have a sniff. Oooh, he's good.

Grabbing my robe from the hook behind the door, I wrap it around myself nice and cozy. I scoot my feet into my slippers and look at myself in the mirror. I have to say this pregnancy glow really works wonders. Even for just waking up, I don't need a drop of make up. Thank you little Mercury's!

I reach for the doorknob and open the door to the hallway, only to find even more vases of flowers lining the walls. I slowly make my way passed them to see where they lead. It's like an endless magical garden maze. In the kitchen, there are more filling the tops of the table and counters.

Following the line of bouquets going up the stairs, I make my way up slowly getting more and more suspicious. The anticipation intrigued me when I find a final bouquet in front of the nursery door.

The room is not as full of flowers but there's five or six leading between the two cribs at the end of the room and up to the dresser that stands in the middle.

The largest vase so far is placed dead center on the dresser top. I look up to see a giant painted portrait of Freddie and I the night that he proposed. That definitely wasn't there before. He's on his knees smiling up at me with my engagement ring in his hands, his full wide grin lighting up his features. I'm sitting on the couch with one hand on my swollen belly and the other covering my mouth. It's such a gorgeous painting, and a beautiful moment forever captured.

In front of the vase is a card and a gift box. I look behind me to make sure no one is watching and open the card in my hands.

What I read leaves me confused and aching. Aching to forgive him. Wanting so badly for every bad thought about him to disappear forever.

"Forgive me. I swear to you, that you are the     only one for me.

My affections And wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever.
If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you:

You have bewitched me body and soul and I love... I love... I love you! I never wish to be apart from you from this day on.

The only thing I know is that I am a second and you are an eternity. I spin in clocks and you twirl in stars. I do not deserve you. But it's not for being unfaithful, untrustworthy or neglectful. No, to you I will always be true. It's because you are the angel capable of holding my heart in your hands. You alone possess the power to lift me up or tear me down.

In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you. That will never change...

All my heart,
Freddie xx"

There's no point in wiping the tears from my eyes. They've already started to fall from my cheeks onto the precious card. I hold it to my chest tightly, before placing it back down on the dresser. Preparing to open the gift box, my shakey hands lift the lid cautiously. I don't think I can take anymore sweetness. Not when my heart is torn between loving him and leaving him.

Inside the box is a fairly thick book. There is a little note covering the title. It reads: 'I bought this for our children when I came back to England. I also kept a little something to treasure within its pages.'

Before finishing the note, I rip it off of the book, too curious to see the title: 'Peter Rabbit'. I smile at the cute gesture. I can imagine Freddie sitting in the rocking chair, each of our babies in his arms as he reads this to them. How perfect a picture that would be. Skimming through the pages until it opens to a spot where something is stuck in between them.

My tears keep their steady stream as I lift the flattened, dried out light purple flower to my nose. It still has a little hint of scent to it. I'm pretty sure I recognize this from the first bouquet of flowers Freddie ever bought me. Lifting the little note back up I finish the last few sentences.

"To you from me. Again and again. The lavender rose is often a sign of enchantment and love at first sight. Those who have been enraptured by feelings of love and adoration have used lavender roses to express their romantic feelings and intentions."

I can't take all of this. Why does it feel like torture? I hold both love notes in my hands and sit myself in the rocking chair. I read them over and over, until I hear a door shut downstairs. Wiping my wet face with the sleeves of my robe I sniffle my nose a few times and walk out of the room.

Freddie's taking off his coat and hanging it on the hook next to the door. When he turns around he watches me come down the stairs. A hopeful look in his eyes. He looks so lost and unsure, too. I don't care anymore. At least, not this second. Once my foot hits the last step, I run up to him and he automatically opens his arms to me. I hug him tightly, until a little sob makes me tremble and I pull away.

I look up to him with tears in my eyes, making his face a little blurry. Before either of us could say something, I let go and give a little smile before walking back to the guest room.

Closing the door behind me, I sit on the edge of the bed looking around at all the stunning flowers. I don't want him to get the wrong idea. I mean, obviously I love what he did. The thought. The gesture. The sincere love that oozed from every word he wrote to me. But the facts are still clear. We still haven't talked things through and now looking at the time, we won't be able to talk until later today.

Stepping over vases to get to the closet, I start to assemble my outfit for the day. We have to be at the doctors in an hour so I take a quick shower before getting dressed.

When I was done, I decided to pick up the single daffodil that I had pluck earlier. I placed it behind my ear and let the rest of my long hair flow behind it.

When I get to the front hall, Freddie's already waiting with my coat in his hand. Neither of us say a word. He helps me into my jacket and opens the door for me to get to the car.

A/N: not sure if any of you have seen this, but THIS LADY is sooo me when showing anyone and everyone love aid. 😂🤣😂

Xo lots of love!