Chapter Twenty Three

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"What happened?"

I ignored Rob's question, and Alice's nervous gaze, and walked straight into my bedroom. My eyes were red, and I was trying not to cry again. I lay face down on my bed, with my face forced into my pillow.

There was a knock at the door, which I ignored. I didn't feel like talking to anybody. Apparently, that wasn't an option, and I heard my door open, and felt somebody sit on the bed next to me.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Alice asked.

"No," I mumbled, with my face still pressed into the pillow.

"Well, will you listen if I talk?"

I was surprised by her question, and sat up out of curiosity. I wiped my eyes on the sleeve of my hoodie, and looked into Alice's eyes. She looked sad, but forced a small smile.

"I haven't known you for very long, really, and I've only known Larissa for a week or two longer than you, but I think I know you both pretty well. When I first met Larissa, she was so miserable. I don't know whether that was because she wasn't happy with Brandon, or because he hadn't moved here yet. But I do know that when she started hanging out with you, she was annoyingly happy."

I wanted to smile at her words, but I was so drained from crying for the past hour, that I couldn't bring myself to do it.

"I knew that you liked her, that day you fell from the climbing wall. I think she knew too, but she never said it. She never really told me anything that had gone down with you two, but I knew something was going on at her party."

"How?" I asked.

"Because she kept talking about you before you got there, and then she got real bitchy about Jade, when you started talking to her," she replied.

I smiled at the thought of Larissa being jealous.

"I have no idea what she's doing, Ivy. She told me that you two had slept together, and she looked so happy. But then, she told me how you were giving her space, and somehow Brandon got back in the picture."

"I know, I was stupid. I just didn't want to push her into a relationship if she didn't want it. I thought if I gave her some time to think about it, she'd know what she really wanted," I sighed.

"She wanted you," Alice said, and I brought my eyes up to hers. "She was gonna leave him. And when she text you yesterday, I thought she was gonna tell you that. I don't know what happened. I'm sorry, Ivy, I know how much you like her."

"I love her, Alice," I said, and tears started to roll down my cheeks again.

Alice put her arms around me, and pulled me close to her. I was so happy she was here. I'm sure Rob would try to talk to me, but would probably have ended up making fun of me, he's not very good in emotional situations

"So... what now?" Alice asked, pulling away from me, and wiping away a tear from my face.

I just shrugged my shoulders, I had no idea what would happen now.

"There's nothing I can do," I sniffed.

"Bullshit!" Rob's voice echoed from the other side of the bedroom door. He pushed the door open almost immediately.

"Rob, don't-" Alice started, but was cut off by her boyfriend.

"You're telling me you give up?" He questioned. "You have literally never given up on a girl until you got what you wanted. Granted, this is different cause you love her, but still..."

"What am I supposed to do?" I frowned, getting annoyed by his presence.

"Get her back."

Alice shot an angry look at Rob, who paid no attention to her, and responded to my questioning look.

"She knows you like her, yeah, but she doesn't know that you love her. Tell her. Her boyfriend's a dick, and she deserves better. So tell her, show her, or just make her jealous."

"Rob, that's not helping," Alice said.

"Ivy knows what she needs to do, babe. She's been doing this for years, and she's never failed. The only reason she isn't trying now is because she's emotionally invested in Larissa, and she's scared," he argued.

I realised he was right, I was scared. Normally, I would pull out all the stops to get a girl, but I was so terrified of losing Larissa, that I wouldn't take any risks with her. Now that I thought about it, I had already lost her. There was nothing else to lose.

"He's right," I admitted quietly.

"So... go and take a shower, get some sleep, and then tomorrow, go and show her how much she means to you," Rob ordered, and I smiled.

"Okay."

Alice rolled her eyes playfully at Rob. I stood up and hugged my best friend, who was grinning at me, clearly proud that his motivational speech worked. He nodded at me, after I stepped away from him, and went back out of my room.

"Thank you Alice, for coming in here," I said, sitting next to her on my bed.

"That's alright, I'm just happy you're smiling again," she replied sweetly. "So, what's the plan?"

"I don't know yet, I've gotta try and talk to her, I guess."

"Come to the gym tomorrow with Rob, I'm sure you'll be able to get five minutes with her," she suggested. "And if all else fails, you could just fall off the climbing wall again."

I laughed at Alice's joke, but I knew that I was stupid enough to do that. I shook my head at the thought.

"Goodnight, Ivy," Alice said, and kissed me on the cheek.

"Goodnight," I smiled.

After she left my room, I took Rob's advice, and took a shower. My face was all sticky from crying, and I looked a mess. When I got out of the shower, I wrapped a towel around me, and one around my hair, then lay on my bed.

I was staring at the ceiling for a while, thinking about what I could say to Larissa. The idea of telling her I love her terrified me. It was hard enough admitting it to Alice and Rob. I thought back to how jealous Larissa was at the party when I was with Jade, and Alice had confirmed my thoughts tonight.

Jade had asked me out after the party, while I was at the gym. I wondered if I could take her up on the offer now, or if I was too late. It didn't feel good, thinking about using Jade like that, but I would do anything to be with Larissa.

After hours of stewing on it, I decided that I would just see what would happen tomorrow. Rob and I would go to the climbing wall, and hopefully run into Larissa. I assumed she would be working, as Alice had told me to go. Maybe when I saw her, I would build up the courage to tell her how I really feel.

My stomach was doing somersaults just thinking about talking to her. Only a few hours ago, I felt like my heart had been ripped out and stamped on, and now I was ready to put myself in the same position again, and potentially have the same thing happen again.

I never understood what it felt like to be in love, and I was always concerned that I wouldn't know when I was in love, but there was no doubt in my mind that I was in love with Larissa. She was always in my thoughts. No matter what I was doing, or who I was with, I was completely wrapped up in her. From the moment she stepped into the coffee shop, she was front and centre in my head.

I was so glad that Rob had got me all hyped up about winning her back, as I had honestly given up. A few harsh words from my best friend made me believe in myself. I was ready to show her that she was meant to be with me.

Fuck Brandon.

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