Turning Larissa (GirlxGirl)

Chapter Forty One

After we finished our picnic, Larissa and I sat on the blanket, looking out at the lake. It had started to get cold, so I draped my jacket over her bare shoulders and huddled up close to her.

"I could stay here forever," I told her.

"Me too, it's so beautiful," she smiled.

"I didn't necessarily mean here at the lake," I said. "But here like this, with you."

The way she looked at me in that moment made me feel like I was in a dream. I could have died right there and still feel like I had done everything I needed to in my life.

"You're sweet," she said, then rested her head on my shoulder.

"I'm honest," I corrected her.

We stared out at the water for a few minutes and neither of us spoke. It was so quiet, I was sure that even the birds had left us alone for a while.

"I'm so happy you finally agreed to go out with me."

"Me too," she responded, picking her head up off my shoulder to look at me. "I wish I had done it sooner."

"So why didn't you?" I asked, trying to pass it off as light-hearted conversation, though I really wanted to know.

"There's a lot of reasons, I suppose," she sighed. "Obviously, Brandon was an issue, and-"

"Yep, he was," I agreed, interrupting her. She just laughed, and continued to talk.

"But the main reason was that I was scared."

"Scared of what?" I frowned. "Admitting you're not straight?"

"Well, a little bit... but I kinda got over that relatively quickly. I was more scared that... well, I was worried that I was just another name you would put on your list."

Her words shocked me, and I was at a loss for words. She looked at me sympathetically, which made me think I looked upset.

"Ivy, I know that you-"

"Larissa, you never would have been just another name on my list. You are the fucking list," I said, and she looked rather confused. "Okay, that didn't make sense... What I mean is, that you're the only girl I have ever had actual feelings for. All of the other girls meant nothing to me, it's completely different with you. I would quite happily never have sex again, as long as I could look into your eyes forever."

Her cheeks turned pink, and she smiled at my compliment, not breaking eye contact with me for a second.

"I know I wasn't seeing things properly, Ivy. But you have to admit, it did kind of look that way sometimes."

"Why?" I asked. I had done nothing but persue Larissa from the moment I had met her.

"You told me on multiple occasions that you'd never been in a relationship, and you only had meaningless one night stands."

I sighed at her response, wondering why I had been so stupid in telling her that.

"And then I started to think that maybe you really liked me," she continued. "And then we got a little more intimate, and then you told me you weren't gonna see me for a while."

I contemplated punching myself in the face for being a complete and utter moron.

"So I kinda thought that you had already got what you wanted, and that's why you were so eager to step away from whatever was going on with us."

"Honestly, I thought that I was doing the right thing," I sighed. "I didn't want to push you into anything, in case you weren't ready for it. I wanted to give you time to think about what you wanted. I didn't realise I made it worse. I'm such an idiot!"