Deku's Descent | BNHA | BakuDeku | ShotoDeku

Chapter 14 - Confusion

The room was cold, and had a strong smell of bleach lingering in the air. The sound of a leaky pipe could be heard dripping slowly in one of the toilet cubicles, the only thing breaking the electric silence that had stretched between the two boys.

Izuku raised his head enough to take in Shoto's appearance and to his dismay saw how dishevelled the other boy looked. Raising his head further he saw Shoto's face, cheekbones popping like he hadn't eaten a decent meal in a week. Dark shadows lingering under his eyes from lack of sleep. Pain ripped through Izuku at the sight of Shoto looking like this, 'this is my fault, all my fault, I knew I'd hurt him' Izuku thought to himself bitterly.

"Izuku..." Shoto spoke the name softly, almost caressing it as he spoke but Izuku flinched like he'd been slapped. Scrunching his eyes shut he began shaking his head, backing up against the sink behind him. "No, no, no, Shoto you should leave, I'll just hurt you more and I can't bear that."

"Izuku, please... Let me say my piece." There was so much desperation in his voice that Izuku unconsciously looked back up and opened his eyes again, Shoto smiled weakly taking Izuku's attention as permission to speak.

"I don't know where to start exactly, but I'll just try and say it as best I can. I've been watching you from a distance for over a year and a half now. I don't think you remember how we actually first met, but it was about a week after we both started here. You came running out of the food hall at full speed and ran straight into me, the moment I saw your eyes I..." he trailed off, gesturing meekly around himself, unable to find the words. Izuku in spite of himself found he was leaning into Shoto's words, barely breathing as he spoke. Eyes wide and unblinking he watched Shoto as he tried to find the words.

"Izuku, I fell In love with you the moment your eyes met mine. I've been in love with you ever since. I never thought I'd actually get to know you or become close to you like I have. I want to be with you, I don't care about all that stuff you said. Just being with you is enough for me. You are everything to me."

Tears had been steadily working their way down Izuku's face as Shoto spoke. He was shaking his head again, but Shoto continued anyway, taking a small step forwards towards Izuku.

"I want to protect you from harm, I want to look after you. I'll be there for you no matter what. I'd do anything for you. A-anything!" Shoto's voice cracked slightly on the last word, failing at holding back his emotions.

But Izuku was too far gone into the darkness to understand the meaning behind Shoto's words, now shaking his head more vigorously.

"Please stop Shoto," Izuku spoke with an eerie calm in his voice, despite the tears pouring down his face, "You are worth so much more than me, you deserve so much better than me. I'm pathetic and useless. You can't love something like me, no one can."

"Izuku, no don't say-" but Izuku cut him off, raising his voice and losing the little composure he'd managed to gain.

"STOP IT!" he yelled, "Just stop it! I can't hurt you, not you! You are the only good thing that I've had in my life, and if you stay around me I will destroy you. I won't allow it, I can't!" Izuku glared at Shoto, who's face remained expressionless as he replied.

"But pushing me away will hurt me more..." Shoto's words were quiet but Izuku kept pushing.

"It's better this way, please just give up on me and save yourself from the pain and agony I would cause you. You can do so much better than m-me..." Izuku hiccuped, losing his will to fight with the final word and turned his back on Shoto, shutting down the conversation.

Staring into the sink Izuku heard Shoto moving and flinched slightly when a hand rested on his shoulder. Leaning into Izuku's ear Shoto whispered, "I'm not giving up on you that easily, I'll convince you eventually, you have my word." And as if to seal his promise, Shoto gently kissed Izuku on the cheek before exiting the restrooms.