The Dodging Game

57 - I was a Pawn in His Game

"Okay just remember I will be right there if you need me. I was told by coach I was able to be in the room when you tell us them their testimony, plus he will not be there and you know all the chairs and couches so you should be fine." Casey kept talking as we walked up the main club house. 

I tend to stay quite  when I'm nervous, he knows this, and is he is trying to ease my nervous by talking me through the things that are going to happen. 

"And your name will not be on any records and he will not know about this statement. The only way he will know you were part of this kangaroo court is if you are part of the main hearing. That will most likely happen on Wednesday, since they will need tomorrow to compile and analyze any last minute evidence and finalize any paper work..." He continued  explaining everything but the closer we got the more my brain began to cloud. 

I looked around taking in the scenery I've known for the past 6 years. I haven't been here in months everything looks the same, the only difference are the sessional flowers that have blossomed. 

"I know you love to stop and smell the roses, but we are kind of running late." Casey stopped a few feet ahead of me. I had gotten so distracted about the flowers that I hadn't I had completely stopped walking. 

I looked around and noticed we were in front of the club house. I have always admired the flower beds that line the front faucet, I remember helping one spring to pick and plant the flowers that were supposed to be planned that year.

"I just need a sec." I took one last look of them closed my eyes and took a deep breath. 

I looked up and saw Casey was looking at me with worried eye. 

"I got this, but just in case I do loose it in there remember not to hug me. And if worse comes to worse and I have a full panic attack find me a corner and sit me down in it, it makes no sense with claustrophobia but works. 10 minutes is the max, if I don't calm down get Jesse." I gave him my best reinsuring smile, but I know it was faulty.  

He has seen me have minor panic attacks, heck he has given me some with his bear hugs, but he has not seen me have a full blown panic attack. The day he found me I was on medication that helped with them, but I've was winged off them a few months back.  I am on a lower dose but have learned techniques that helped prevent a full blown panic attack. 

"Paper bag trick?" He asked innocently as he held the door open for me.  

"Only if I'm hyperventilating for more than five minutes, but good luck finding one," I joked. "But the most important thing to remember is to give space. I love you but your hugs can be over baring at times." I walked through the door and take one last deep breath. 

"I know I know. It's just part of my nature, I'm just a very lovey dovie kind of guy. What can I say." He joked. 

"And I love that but can we hold off the hugs until after my brains decides the world is not about to end." I joked back. 

"Deal but I will pull the plug if I see you start acting weird."  He stoped out side the common room. 

"Well god luck defining weird from my normal weirdness." I joked before attempting to open the door before Casey open it for me. But like always he beat me to it. 

We walked in and what I was not expecting to see was a table full of board members. There was papers everywhere and they were having a heated discussion. We should've definitely knocked before entering. 

I send Casey a death glare, and by his cringe reaction I knew he had thought the same thing. 

"Arden thank you for coming at such short notice come sit." Coach H called us over.