Lucifer Morningstar x Reader

Love You Even When It Hurts

Word Count: 850

Pairings: Lucifer Morningstar x Reader

Warnings: angst, a lot of it

A/N: Feel free to drop me a request, and enjoy the story!

Summary: You loved him, more than you’d loved anyone, but you felt so alone, and you hated that.

……………………………………………………

You stared at the wall, memorizing the carvings and foreign language on the stone. You glanced down at your phone, it was almost midnight, he was three hours late. You stood up kicking off your shoes and making your way to the bedroom.

‘What wonderful excuse will he have this time?’ You thought as you pulled on a pair of sweatpants.

The elevator dinged, and you looked up from where you stood at the bar. Lucifer walked in looking around, you said nothing just downed your drink, before pouring another. He heard the clink of the bottle and smiled when he saw you.

“Y/N! There you are darling! You must hear about this case!”

You said nothing just grabbed your half empty glass, and the bottle.

“Maybe tomorrow Lucifer.” You muttered.

He frowned watching you disappear into the bedroom. It wasn’t like you to be so disconnected from him like that.

“Is everything alright love?” He called after you.

You didn’t answer him just placed your bottle on the nightstand and sat on the bed.

~

You woke up the next morning, alone in bed. You seemed to wake up like that a lot lately. There was no note, not text, you had no idea where Lucifer had gone. He didn’t answer your call, in fact it went straight to voicemail. You called Chloe instead.

“Y/N! Hi, is everything ok?”

You smiled, happy to hear your friend’s voice. Yet your smile felt heavy, like it didn’t belong.

“Yeah, just seeing if you know where Lucifer is?”

“He’s with me and Dan on a case, didn’t he tell you?”

She sounded confused, and you smiled sadly.

“I must have forgotten.” You lied forcing a laugh.

You hung up and threw your phone on the couch letting out a frustrated sigh. The longer you sat there the angrier you got. You snatched your phone off the couch and called Lucifer. The first time you called him it went straight to voicemail but the second time he finally answered.

“Is everything alright darling? You’ve been calling me a lot.”

“I needed to talk to you, it kept going to voicemail.” You frowned.

You heard shuffling in the background followed by several voices. He was at the police station.

“Yes well I’m terribly busy with the case at the moment, I’ll call you later.”

“Rain check our date tonight then right?” You didn’t mean for your voice to sound so cold.

The line was silent for a moment and you almost thought he had hung up.

“That was tomorrow night, wasn’t it?”

He forgot, again, just like he forgot the last four times and you felt your heart break just a little more.

“No Lucifer that was tonight.”

You heard him sigh a little and your anger spiked.

“I’m sorry darling, but I’ve been a bit busy, surely if I miss one date it won’t be the end of the world.”

“Four.” You hissed angrily.

“Four?” He repeated confused.

“You’ve missed the last four Lucifer, and you didn’t just miss them. You forgot about them entirely!”

Lucifer apparently didn’t appreciate your shouting because his next words were harsh and cold.

“Yes, well I’ve had more important things to worry about than a silly little dinner date.”

As soon as the words left is mouth he regretted them. You had stopped talking, and you nodded slowly. You held the phone away from your ear, so he couldn’t hear the trembling breath you took. Lucifer sighed, hating himself a little.

“I’ve got to go love, the Detective needs my help but I’ll see you when I get home tonight, we can talk more.” He said.

’No we won’t.’ You thought.

You heard someone’s voice calling Lucifer, and he told you he really did have to go.

“Goodbye Lucifer.”

He had no idea what you were really saying with those two words, had he known, he would have dropped everything and hurried home to you.

You hung up the phone and stared at it a moment. Your heart felt heavy as you silenced your phone. In a rage you swiped the items on the table onto the ground. Pictures broke and a lamp shattered, yet it did nothing to ease the sinking feeling that had settled in your chest. You stared at the mess, and leaned against the piano.

“Nice Y/N, because breaking things always helps..” You muttered.

You felt at war with yourself as you packed your clothes in several suitcases. Your thoughts drifted between how this was the right choice to how much you loved him and how much this might hurt him. You seemed to subconsciously decide for yourself what you were going to do because the next thing you knew you found yourself in the elevator. You stared at the doors as you waited for them to open again. You tried as hard as you could to hold back your tears.

’He doesn’t deserve you! He won’t even notice you left!’ An angry voice screamed in your mind.

You shook your head as if that would silence the voice.

“I will… and I’ll still love him just the same.” You whispered.