From Zero ¦ Hyungwonho

19 - {All This For Nothing?}

Please please please read the a/n I have at the end of this chapter, it's really important.
______________________________________________________________________________

Hyungwon's POV

During the whole ride back to the hotel, I couldn't stop thinking about how I'm gonna tell Wonho. More and more guilt is creeping inside me. Wonho tried so much to make it work between us. And I know you won't believe me, but I wanted to work. I love Wonho, I always loved Wonho.

But I knew that I couldn't handle alcohol at all. I would become drunk in the second glass of wine. But nothing, absolutely nothing is a good enough reason for what I did. I know, I really really know that what I did was wrong, probably the worst thing I've done in my life. I don't deserve to be spared by Wonho.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault that happened, I shouldn't had drunk so much. I should had brought you there. If we were at that party, nothing would have happened." Soonyoon said from beside me making me feel even more guilty, if that's even possible.

"It's not your fault Soonyoon. I'm the only one to blame in this situation. So please don't." I told him and stayed quiet for the rest of the ride.

As I saw the hotel at the end of the road my heart clenched. What have I done?

Wonho's POV

As soon as I saw Hyungwon entering the hotel room, I ran to him and hugged him tightly - he didn't return it.

"Where were you Wonnie? I was so worried." I noticed that he wasn't looking at my eyes, instead his eyes were everywhere else but my eyes.

"Please don't call me Wonnie." he said sounding like he was about to cry.

"What? Why?" I asked confused. What happened? We were great before he left last night.

"I... I had sex with another guy." he said and I felt my heart breaking. I lost my smile, I'm sure I even became pale.

"Oh. Okay." it was the only thing that could come out from my mount at that moment.

"Is that all you have to say to me?" he said really provoking my mentality.

"We aren't together. You are free to do whatever you want with whoever you want" I said sounding as if all the life has been drained from me.

"Wonho I-"

"No don't you dare say that you're sorry."

"Bit I really am." and then something clicked in me. As if a door opened and all my anger came out.

"No you're fucking not. We came here, for fuck's sake Hyungwon, I did everything to bring us back together. I tried so hard to make it work. Because I fucking love you unfortunately. And as we started working on it, on us, you were so stupid to go and do this. Don't tell me you're sorry, because you clearly aren't. You completely forgot about me last night. I should have forgotten you back when you broke up with me as well. And broke up for what? For cheating you. Something I never did. So why would I even forgive you for having sex with a guy? Some you clearly fucking did. You're an asshole Hyungwon. A completely indifferent, ignorant asshole. I hate you, I fucking wish I could hate you." I said completely mad, walking all over the room, yelling at Hyungwon, trying not to cry as well.
"YOU were the 'victim' for two years. But now who's the real victim of this whole story? Me, only me. Me because I believed you wanted this as much as I did. Me because I wasn't over you even after two years. Me because I tried so hard to and for what? For you to do this. And me, because even now there's a tiny voice in my head telling me that I should forgive you. But no, no I'm not gonna do that. Because you don't deserve this." I said and stormed out of the room. I didn't want to look at him anymore. I feel like if I was in there for some more minutes, looking at his crying face I would forgive him.

Believe me if I could, I would have stopped loving him. He has brought so much pain to me. But I still love him. But I really do deserve something better.

"Excuse me" I said at the receptionist, an old lady who seemed friendly. "Is it possible for me to change rooms?"

"Ohh why? Is there any problem with the one you're staying now?" the old lady asked.

"Oh no no. My...co-worker and I had a conflict and I'm afraid I can't stay with him anymore." I told her trying to sound as stable as I could, while in reality I wasn't. I wanted to stay in a room alone and cry until tomorrow.

"Yes there is a room available. But I see here that you only have 2 days left. Is it urgent?" she asked again looking at my face.

"I'm sorry but yeah." I told her and she picked up the phone and talked with someone in french.

"Here is the key. You can move to the other room anytime you want. But if you decide not to, please return the key to reception as soon as possible." she told me with a kind smile and I left after thanking her.

I went inside the room and found Hyungwon sleeping with tears in his eyes. I almost let myself touch his face there. But no, I'm stronger than that. I picked up all my clothes, left a small note on the desk and left.

Hyungwon's POV

I woke up after a 2 hour nap. I could barely open my eyes since they were in pain.

I found a note on top of my desk.
"I moved in another room. From now on the only communication we'll have is at fashion shows." I just left it where I found it, too tired to react in any way.

I opened the TV that I didn't notice before and saw something that surprised me.

"Famous model, Kim Soonyoon, arrested. He was caught drugging people in order to take advantage of them. If any person has been assaulted in any way by him, please contact the channel."

_______________________________________

IMPORTANT A/N

First of all I'd like to say thank you to everyone who supports this story.

Also,,, I wanna make one thing clear here. My writing usually contains angst, a lot of angst, maybe sometimes I'm overdoing it, and I know I do but it's something that I don't regret doing. It's my style of writing, you can call it boring, pointless, unnecessary, indifferent, whatever you want but I will not change my style of writing because of one or two readers.

The amount of time I put in these stories I have published is a lot, what's the point in writing a story to please every reader but not yourself? If I, just like that, change my style my chapters are gonna be a mess, 10 times worse than now.

I was thinking of telling you all to not stop reading this story. But as a person who likes angsty things I cant guarantee you a happy story, what I can guarantee you is a happy ending, since that was my intention even before I published this story.

But my point is,, if you don't like my story, then you can stop reading it at any time. I will actually be sad that you decided to stop reading it but I prefer this than having dissatisfied readers just because I use my style of writing.

Once again, thank you for all your support. I love you all.