Emotion Commotion

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(Autumn POV)

Sweat pours down my back and slicks my arms. My hair begins to spill out of it's bun with each twirl and a sharp pain stings near my private area each time i lift my legs.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror feeling disgusted. With myself, with the way i acted and the amount of times I've cried today.

The first time was this morning when I woke up. I begged my mom to let me stay home but she wouldn't let me unless I told her why.

"Please mom, I'm just not feeling well." I pleaded.

"What exactly is making you feel sick?" she asked while zipping her deep red skirt.

"Stomach ache," I lied.

She pursed her lips and gave me a blank look. "There's pepto bismol in the fridge downstairs."

I groaned loudly and stomped back to my room, obviously not going to be able to win this fight.

Then I cried again during literature. We were reading a scene from Romeo and Juliet, the balcony scene. I volunteered to be Juliet just to take my mind off things and of course Mrs. Bates picked Chris to be Romeo because was 'a regular casanova' according to her.

As he read me the lines, flash backs of the huge mistake I made on Friday raced through my mind. I listened to each word he fed me and screamed 'LIES.LIES.LIES." in my head. How many girls did Romeo feed that line too? Is he just an ancient version of Chris?

"Autumn? Your line," Mrs, Bates says.

I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn't say anything. All i could do was stare at Chris, his eyes emotionless and flat.

Were they like that Friday night?

Just as I was on the verge of having a nervous break down, the bell rings, ending first period. I gathered my stuff quickly and jetted for the door until a hand shot out and grabbed me. I yelped in surprise as the hand pushed me into a dim corner of the hallway.

I turn to find Chris staring at me.

"We need to talk." He says to me.

"I know that. You're the one who's been giving me the cold shoulder all day." I said. I was gonna say more but he cut me off.

"We're not talking here. Later, in the library." He said before cutting me off.

I roll my eyes and wipe away the tears forming in my eyes. This time I wasn't sure why I was crying. Embarrassment? Shame? I don't know, but as I made my way to next period a few tears began running down my face.

That's when I was passed Jaida and she called out to me. I didnt want to be rude and ignore her so i turned back, swiping at my tears. She led me to the bathroom and rubbed my back as I struggled to fight the tears.

"Daniel isn't worth your tears, Autumn." Jaida says.

I look up at her confused. Daniel?...oh yeah he cheated on me. That's how all this started. I wanted to tell her or even anyone about what happened. But I couldn't, it was too humiliating to discuss.

Then I cried again in the library. The way Chris talked to me was cold, like he didn't take part in what we did. But i knew it was all a front, he was just saving his ass from Tamara.

Now I stare at my disheveled reflection before squeezing my eyes shut. I didn't want to look at myself anymore, I was a whore.

I turn away from the mirror and walk over to my ballet bag. I take out my towel and wipe down my face and arms.

The creaking of the door opening sounds through the room and I turn to see Destiny walk in. Oh did I mention she's in my ballet class too?

She was wearing these green pastel colored shorts and a black crop top that showed off her smooth tan stomach. Her hair was pulled into a sleek ponytail as she flowed across the room. She stops infront of me and looks me up and down.

"Struggling to improve your dancing before the recital,Autumn?" she asks.

"Struggling to improve your face?" i snap back lamely.

She laughs coldly. "Ooh, good comeback sweetie. But apparently Daniel loves my face."

Destiny finger combs her bob cut across her eye and I narrow my eyes into slits before saying, "I didn't think he could see your face since you're always facing his dick."

Her face changes to one of surprise before she steps up closer to my face. "Oh honey," her voice was as cold as ice. "If only you knew."

I roll my eyes as she pushes past me to get something in her ballet cubicle. I shoot daggers into her back with my eyes wishing they were real. Because of her Daniel left me. Because of her i let my innocence go before marriage. Because of her I feel like hiding under a rock for the rest of my life.

I wanted to walk over and rip her pretty little brown locks out her head. But before I could she stands up again holding her ballet shoes in her hand. Her eyes are pure steel towards me as she brushes past, the scent of lilac flowing with her. She leaves out the door and after letting out an exaggerated breath I pack up my stuff, change my shoes and head out too.

I walk along the empty halls of school and head outside. The bright sun nearly blinding me. As my eyes adjust I realize that I'm standing in the middle of people. I look around to find Jacob, Jaida, Tamara, Craig and...Chris standing in a circle talking.

"Hey Autumn!" Jaida says.

I wave weakly. "Hi,"

"Damn girl, you're sweatin like you just ran a couple miles in Africa." Tamara says.

I chuckle lightly, not exactly in a joking type of mood. But not wanting to seem salty I say, "Well it would help stay in shape for ballet."

They all laugh with me except for Chris who continues to stare at his phone. I shift my bag higher onto my shoulder and begins heading down the steps.

"Hey," I recognize Jacob's voice and turn around. "Are you ok? I saw you this morning and you were crying rivers."

Jaida elbows him roughly in the ribs and he flinches. Chris sucks his teeth. "Why you all up in their business?"

"Whatchu gettin mad for? It's just a question." Jacob respondes.

"She doesnt have to answer to you."

"It's her choice!" Jacob says back. "It's not like you have any idea what kind of situation she's in...do you?"

It got awkwardly silent and as Chris held Jacob's stare. My cheeks turn red. He knows something...he knows something about me and Chris...But how?

"You guys argue like PMSing girls." Tamara says.

I laugh lightly and grip my ballet bag strap. "See you guys tomorrow." I say before walking away hastily. I could feel their stares on my back but I don't dare look back as I climb into my white Nissan.

Once I got home I take a long hot shower letting all the sweat and grime rinse off me and down the drain.

When I get out the shower I change into my yellow fluffy robe and trudge into my room. As I'm putting lotion on my door opens and I yelp loudly.

"Jeezus, mom do you knock?" I exclaim.

My mom walks in and sits near my feet. "Hey I got an email from your school. Your class trip sounds fun."

"Yeah, I guess Virginia's cool." I say sliding on a pair of yoga pants.

"You leave tomorrow night baby. A whole week without you is gonna be so weird." She says pouting.

I shrug. "I'm not going."

"What!?" My mother screeches. "Are you kidding me? Yea you are going."

"No, I'm not." i say plopping back down on my bed.

"Um, why not?" She snaps at me.

"I'm just dont feel like going to Virginia for a week with my class mates. I dont even like half of them." I reapond.

I watch as my mother stares at me in shock. Her mouth slightly opened and her eyebrows furrows.

"Alright, what's going on with you Autumn? You've been acting so weird lately." Mom says. "Kind of distant actually."

EVERYTHINGS WRONG. My love life,my virginity, the strong mask i usually wear, my emotions. Everything!

"Nothing, just kinda stressed." I lie pitifully.

"Come on Aut---"

"Mooom," I whine. "Can I just take a nap. I had an intense practice today."

I hated lying to my mom like this, I hated not telling her everything like I usually do but I had to. I wasn't sure how to explain everything yet, especially the fact that I'm no longer a virgin.

I feel my mom pat my back gently before leaving and shutting my door. I roll in my bed and press my face into my pillow.

How could my life take such a dramatic fall in a matter of four days?

Some how I felt myself drifting off into a deep sleep when suddenly I gasped and sat up.

It all makes sense now. Jacob was the one in the library this morning. He had to be, there's no other way that he could have known about Chris and me.

If he wants to live I'm sure he wont open his mouth, right?....right?

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