Living it Big Time ~ A Big Time Rush Fan Fiction :{)

Chapter 16 :{)

Author's note: READ!!!!! 

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"This is not an option Nathalie! We are moving back home, to Australia for good! We have no house, no solid job. NOTHING!! I bought plane tickets earlier this morning. We leave in two days. I told your university, they said they'll talk to Melbourne University and get you a place so you can start there in a few weeks. There is more support and people to help us back home!" My mum yells at me. By this time, Kendall's gone to work. I ended up getting a great sleep last night considering the circumstances. Now, my mum and I are trying to plan a funeral for my father. This, apparently, involves moving back to Australia for good!! i can't leave Kendall, my friends, Uni. I love it here. How can she expect me to leave so suddenly?!

"MUM!! There is no way I'm moving back to Australia! What about my friends, Kendall?!! I can't just leave! Please! Why can't I stay here by myself?! I can move in to a house at Uni! Please!" I plead but as soon as I mention me staying by myself, I knew I crossed the line. Of course my mum wants me to be happy and be independent but she doesn't want to lose me straight after my dad.

"No. Listen," She says, putting her hand on my shoulder,"your dad would've wanted us to move back home to be near his family and my family so they can help us get through this," As soon as she mentioned the word 'dad' I knew I didn't stand a chance in this argument. Why do people always do that when someone they love dies?!! 'Ella would've wanted you to have it' or 'Jo would want you to pursue it' They just say it to make you feel guilty if you don't do it. It's sick! Really sick! 

"You know what, I give up! Fine! We'll go back to Australia! I don't care! I'm just sick of this! You can organise this with the family, okay? I'm out!" I yell back at her as I storm out of the house. I realise I shouldn't have yelled at her, I mean she's pretty distraught after everything. 

"Nathalie! Wait! Please!!" My mum comes running out of the house. 

I stop in my tracks, spin around and say, "What?"

"I was there. I was about to bring him a coffee to his office. He forgot something in his car so he had to go and get it. The car came out of nowhere. He checked the streets before he crossed. After he was hit, I ran to him. He told me to move back to Australia with you. He also said that he loves us a lot. Those were his final words," She said in a faraway tone as if she was reliving the entire event. Did she expect me to believe that's what dad actually said?!! 

"You expect me to believe that that's what he truly said?!" I ask in disbelief.

"Yes because it's the truth! I wouldn't lie about something so important and devastating!" There was something in her eyes and the expression on her face that made me believe that what she was saying was the truth.

"I'm so sorry mum! I love you, I do. I just feel so weird today!" Tears pour from my eyes, "I'm sorry for yelling! I am! I realise now that that was why you kept crying last night. Did you even get any sleep?" She comes closer to me and gives me a great big hug. 

"I love you! What I do for you is because I love you. Whenever I managed to sleep, I would be woken up by nightmares or tainted flashbacks. I saw that Kendall stayed last night. Did you guys sleep together?"

"If by sleep you mean lying side-by-side, then yes. I'm sorry that you saw everything mum. If you were there, then why did you pick me up?"

"I picked you up because dad was taken to the hospital. I came by your uni to take you there too but on the way to get you, i received a call that said..." I hug my mum even tighter. Tears falling from our eyes. 

"Look, mum, do you mind if I go now? Kendall wanted to meet up for lunch. Is that okay? Are you alright? Do you want to tag along?" I ask.

"It's fine! Have heaps of fun!! I'll be fine," She replies. I give her a hug and walk off to my car, texting Kendall that I'm on my way. All I can think about is leaving. How am I supposed to maintain an amazing relationship from the other side of the world? I have no idea! Kendall is my first real love. I don't want it to end but what if it's easier? I think I know what I have to do. This will be the last time I see Kendall in America. We leave at five in the morning in two days! Tomorrow will be spent packing and then off to the airport. No more Kendall. I have to end it. It'll break my heart as much as his but that's life. Isn't it? I park my car in front of Starbucks and walk into the shop alone. I'm thinking that this is how it'll be from now on. Oh the sadness. My phone starts blowing up with 'Worldwide'. I answer it.

Me: "Hello?" 

Aria: "Hey Nat!"

M: "Hey! How are you?"

A: "I'm great! The real question is, how are you?"

M: "I'm ok. Just catching with Kendall today, He's really helped me. My mum is a wreck though."

A: "That's not good. I'm really glad Kendall's helping you, although you never really have explained who he is"

M: "He's my boyfriend, obviously! Listen, I've got news that's good for you and partly bad for me."

A: "What is it?"

M: "I'm moving back to Australia"

A: "Seriously?!! That's great! Why is it bad?"

M: "I really really really don't want to leave Kendall! I love him way too much! I really don't know what to do! Help me please!"

A: "I don't know. Maybe try long distance?"

M: "Thanks I'll talk to him about it. I'll call you later?"

A: "Nah! I'll see you in Australia!! Bye!"

M: "Byee!"

"Who was that?" Kendall asks as he sits down opposite me.

"That was Aria. She's my best friend in Australia," I reply.

"Cool! I bet you must miss her so much!" He says.

"I do, a lot. But soon she won't be the one I miss a lot," I reply but I don't know where I'm going with this.

"What do you mean?" He asks.

"What I mean is, that we're having the funeral in Australia so that all the family can come. But my mum told me that we'll be staying there. To live forever," I spill out. His face. I can't describe it. It's a mixture  of shock and sadness. He reaches over the table to hold my hands.

"Everything's going to be alright. I promise," He repeats the same words from the previous night.

"Are you sure? Because I don't know what we should do. Should we go long distance or just end it? I... I just don't want to go!" Tears are fighting against the barrier but I won't let them go.

"Look, Nathalie, I've tried long distance and it's not easy. But I'm prepared to try again for you, with you. After everything you've been through, you don't deserve to lose someone else you love," He says.

"Thank you Kendall. I really do love you," A smile creeps along my face, "Can we go for a walk?" Kendall nods and we leave the cafe. We walk for a while and once we're near my car I tell Kendall what I've decided. 

"Nathalie? You look kind of uneasy," He says.

"Listen, Kendall, you mentioned that long distance was hard. I don't want my life to be tougher. i really don't. But I love you so much. No amount of words could describe the extent of my love for you. I really wish it didn't have to come to this but I think we should break up," I say. I regret my words instantly but I can't deal with the troubles that come along with finding out what times are suitable for each time zone. 

"I totally understand Nat. Just remember that I won't stop loving you, ever! We still do have to Skype each other sometimes because I know I'm going to miss you a lot. I respect your decision and I can tell that it wasn't an easy one to make. Please, don't cry," He says as he wipes my tears of my cheeks. 

"One last kiss?" I ask.

"One last kiss," He says and pulls me closer to him. I'm definitely going to miss this.