After The Dance (FOB FanFic ft. Panic! At The Disco)

~PART TWO~ [Chapter 23] Holding You Back (Lexy)

(Lexy's POV)

My cell phone went off at the worst possible time. I was in a high-end and insanely fancy restaurant with my date, and just as we were about to kiss, my phone started to ring. I tried to ignore it but the ringing wouldn't stop and we were attracting unwanted glances. My date sat back in his seat and told me to take the call. I hesitated, not wanting to ruin the romantic evening by taking a call, but he told me it was alright. I told them I'd be right back and excused myself from the table, escaping outside.

I pulled out my phone and saw that Patrick was the caller. I quickly answered the call and put the phone up to my ear. "Patrick?"

"Lexy," He replied. It sounded like he was crying, his voice was hoarse and his breaths were quick, as if he was gasping for air, "I-I don't know what I'm doing anymore."

I paced back and forth for a little before responding, "What's going on, Patrick?" Patrick hadn't called me since May, when he wanted to inform me he didn't think we could meet up this summer because he and the guys were going on tour. And before that he didn't call me. So I only assumed worst had come to worst and he was trying again, and that's why he was calling me, but I needed to make sure that was the case before I jumped to any conclusions.

"I just can't take it anymore. Pete hates me, I'm pretty sure Joe and Andy hate me too, and-" His voice was getting even more frantic than it already was and his breathing was picking up.

"Patrick," I interrupted him before he could continue, "Calm down. I'm-"

"How!?!" He snapped at me, "How can I calm down when you're not here!?!" Those words hurt me like a bunch of knives, the guilt I've had ever since I left finally setting in for me. I leaned back against the brick wall outside, sliding down it. "I need you, Lexy. I need you here, with me." I hit the sidewalk and just sat there, struck silent. "Lexy, I miss you."

I wanted to say I missed him too. Because I did. But it was like there was a lump in my throat, and the words I wanted to say refused to come out. So I didn't say anything. And he must've gotten worried that I hung up or something because shortly after, he called my name.

The swelling in my throat wouldn't go away and tears were threatening to form in my eyes. "Patrick, I-I'm really sorry," I apologized with as much sincerity as I could manage, "But...I-I've got to go."

As I lowered my phone away from my ear, I heard him yell "No! Lexy! Wait!" but I closed my phone quickly, hanging up on him.

I sat out there for a little, regretting ending my call with him and debating whether or not to call him back. I got back up and reentered the restaurant, looking back into the dining area of the restaurant I was dressed up for in a white, one-shoulder long sleeve dress. I spotted the table for two I was assigned to and saw the person I was here with sitting as patiently as he could, waiting for me to return. That person was Mikey. He was dressed in a nice suit I'm pretty sure he borrowed from his brother.

He and I had grown really close over these past two years, closer than I was with any of the members of his band and maybe even the members of Fall Out Boy (including Patrick). He and I were out on, if I recall correctly, our sixth date since he asked me to be his girlfriend. If Patrick hadn't started dating Elisa, I probably would've declined Mikey's offer. I loved Patrick, and, I'm not going to lie, I still do. But...I can't keep waiting for things to work out for Patrick and me.

I heaved a sigh and walked back into the dining room, slipping into the seat across from my boyfriend and immediately atoning, "I'm sorry about that, Mikey, it's just-"

"It's okay, Lex," He reassured me, extending his hand over the table and gently placing it on top of mine. A smile crawled on his face, causing me to smile too. But my smile quickly faded as I began to feel sorry for hanging up on my best friend and not calling him back. "Hey," He squeezed my hand gently, "What's wrong?"

I slipped my hand out from under his and placed it in my lap, hanging my head, "It's nothing..."

"Come on, Lexy, you know I know it's not nothing."

I bit my lip before saying, "Fine...it was Patrick."

"Was he the one who called you?" I nodded my head yes. "What'd he call you for?"

"I'd rather not talk about it, Mikey," I glanced up at him briefly before picking up my menu and sighing, changing the subject, "So, have you decided what you're going to order?"

"Lexy, I'm sure he's just going through a rough time, that's all," Mikey remarked, even though I had just said I didn't want to talk about it.

"Yeah, and I'm not there for him," I murmured, setting down the menu and folding my hands in my lap, "I've always been there for him and now I'm not. Instead I'm a million miles away on a date with another guy."

"It's only like a thousand miles...not even," He corrected me as nicely as he could've, "And so what if you're on a date with me? You shouldn't feel bad. He's got a girlfriend, you know."

"But still!" I rose to my feet and slammed my hands down on the table, "I'm not there for him when he needs me the most and do you know how horrible that makes me feel?"

"Lexy, sit down, please," He begged under his breath, noticing the looks I had once again attracted, but this time for different purposes.

"No! I don't belong here, Mikey!" I sat down, despite what I said and covered my face with my hands as I began to cry, "I belong back home. In Chicago. With Patrick."

I heard some movement before Mikey pulled me up from the chair I was sitting and directed me outside, where the two of us began walking down the cold city streets that were, for the most part, deserted. His arm was wrapped my back and I was leaning against his side. Neither of us really said anything to one another, we just...walked.

"He's moved on, Lexy," Mikey eventually broke the silence. I looked up at him with red and puffy eyes. I hadn't stopped crying since we left the restaurant. "Maybe it's time you move on too." I stepped out his hold, horrified he would say something like that. "Look, Lexy, he's holding you back. He has been this whole time. You haven't been happy since the day you've moved here and...and I can only do so much to try and make you happy." He gripped my upper arms gently and looked into my teary eyes, "I love you. And all I want is for you to be happy. But if you keep worrying about him...you're never going to be happy." He moved his hand up to my face and with the swipe of his thumb wiped away a tear that rolled down my cheek. I averted my gaze to my feet. "Please, Lexy, it's time for you to move on."