bad things ➸ tincan ✔ (EDITING)

Chapter Forty Two

Can

I skipped class today. Like yesterday I don't feel to study like I'm trying to do. I spend all my allowances treating myself, I ordered a lot of foods in food court here in mall, I play at strolling also in arcade, and even I watched movie. I do that all alone. Before when I was down, food can satisfied me. Can make me feel better but in this kind of situation it didnt work. So I was just trying to whine myself for all those thoughts drowning me every each day.

How long I will do this to myself? Im getting tired to deal this shit all by myself.

My phone keep on vibrating in my pocket. Guess it was Dae who keep spamming me her messages. I also dealing Dae too, this days she keep sticking on me. I dont even know if she already get it.

I don't know how to deal this break up. I just cant go back to my normal self even I already reminding it to myself.

Im now eating an ice cream. If I were the old Can. Im really happy to have an cup of ice cream but I just dont feel anything change. It didnt give me a satisfying feelings.

Where is the old Can? Did that asshole Tin killed him?

Im not going to over him if I didnt hear anything from him. I dont know I just want to clarify anything from him. He makes me sleepless since then, overthinking of what did I did wrong to him.

Unconsciously I fish out my phone and dial his number. As I expected, he didn't budge to answer it. Asshole.

I have no money at all. I should go home and take that rest.

Im tired of being this. I should get rid this feeling and him. He rid me in his life. Why would I still trying keep him. He throw me away, I should do that same.

I walked out of that mall and now Im walking in the pavements. I don't feel to ride in cab, first of all I spend all my money today. Im so stupid. Stupidly in love with Tin.

I didn't even notice that my feet actually drag me to Tin's place. Isn't that Im really out of myself? Why the hell Im here??

I was stunned at shocked when he get out of his car and standing in front of me. Maybe I was centimeters away from him but I could clearly see him. Its been a long time since that bar incident.

I kinda admit. I miss him. My stupid self miss that guy.

His both hands are in his pockets. Man, I can only say that he look so fine today. Aish thoughts. Why the heck Im fantasizing him?

He walked towards me. Stupid heart please stop beating for this man. He don't deserve it. He hurts you.

"What are you doing here?" as usual the way he ask me, like Im not really welcomed.

What should I response? That my stupid feets bring me here without thinking? But okay how many times I call myself stupid.

I look at him and trying to think what should I reply to that.

"I just passed by" my ass Can.

"Then why did you called me earlier?" shit. Should I reply because I miss him? Thats not even good answer.

"I-i.. it just a wrong call, I didnt intention to call you" nice excuse Can. Now you look more stupid.

"You should erase my number. We don't have anything to do with each other" I was taken back from his words. Its striking my heart. He sounds like we didn't date for a months and we are just common acquittance. Fuck Tin.

He was about to go and leave me here. When..

"That was it Tin? That's how we really end this?" He turn his back at me. He look at me more in cold stare.

"So how do you want it to do?" He is freaking damn asshole. He deserve a punch right now.

"Let me tell you! I had no idea why we end up like this! I just remembered that we fought in simple damn thing and that's it after a days you broke up with me. Now you don't even want me to go to your hide out and to see your friends either. I was so damn confused. And I literally asked myself what the fuck did I did and you are treating me like a shit?!" I was out of control that's it and I hella burst out in front of him. I couldn't help to complain and asked all of that to him. I'm so tired and exhausted to this. I'm so frustrated to find those answers to my question on my mind.

"I just need you to get out of my life Can" what? Did he just?!!

Again, I was the biggest stupid and asked that all to him.

"Let me ask you one last time, you don't love me anymore right?" this is one of the basic question that runs on my mind. I don't care how will answer it. It just I just want to hear it from him like I wanted to.

He look plainly blank at me. I'm still waiting for his response. My eyes are getting heavier and the moment I'm trying not let this tear out. The more my sight is getting blurry and I didn't see clearly face and his reaction. So I don't know anymore.

"I don't love you anymore" that hit me. That chances don't I'm holding was clearly gone. What should I do? I don't want to force and push myself even more for him. He stated that he want me to get out his life. That's it Can, that's really it.

I remember the last thing she line message me was "If you love someone, set them free". Even though I hated so much Tin for hurting me so much. It didn't change that fact that I love him and I really do.

I love Tin so much. That I have to let him go already. We've done so far, maybe that wasn't that really meant to be. So who am I to stop it.

Actually I've seen this coming but I didn't know that this would hurt me. So bad.

I smile bitterly at him. This would be the last time I'm going to look at his face.

"That's what I really want to hear from you. I can finally have that reason to get over you. Don't worry Tin, this would be the last you will saw me here and in your life" my tears finally fall down to cheeks.

I can now see him so clearly.

"I know this is so sound so stupid. But I just want to thank you for coming in my life and you appreciated me. You even love me. Thank you for the beautiful memory Tin" I smiled at him. Then I waved at him. He didn't response and look stiff on his place. I don't know if he want to say something. But I didn't mind it, the time I turn my back to him. Its really a goodbye.

Goodbye Tin.

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a/n : idk but i kinda tearing up while writing it. ugh im so affected to theory of love ep 5 after watching that I write this chap. viola and this is what happen. I couldn't reply to your comments but you know how much it was mean to me.