To Learn To Fall (Sequel to the Other Side)

Chapter Eighteen

I woke up to what sounded like a terrified animal fighting for its last breath. Great start to the morning, huh? I sat up, rubbing my head already pounding with what promised to be a killer headache.

"Thomas?" I asked, feeling the space besides me, but he wasn't there. My eyes shot open as I rose to my feet too quickly, causing the world to sway around me a little bit. I righted myself and looked around. "Thomas?" I repeated, finding him pushed in the space underneath the desk. "Thomas! Thomas, what's wrong?"

He pushed himself closer to the wall. "Go away."

"Thoma—"

"Just go away, Alexander!" he hissed out.

"What's wrong?" I asked again, sitting down by the desk and reaching out for his hand, which he hesitantly gave me.

"Alex, I don't want to hurt you."

"Are you...?" I trailed off, knowing that he understood what I meant. The thought pressed down on my throat, making it next to impossible to breathe.

He nodded.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I asked softly, afraid that any louder and he would be scared off like a frightened animal.

He shook his head, tears streaming down his cheek. Was it from the pain or the understanding of what was awaiting the both of us? His hand pulled away from mine, leaving me staring at him.

"Talk, okay? Maybe that'll make it better. Does it hurt?"

He nodded again, his eyes peeling open so he could look at me. "I have this really bad headache, and I feel so...lightheaded." He paused, bringing his hand to his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Alexander," he managed to choke out. "You don't deserve this."

I reached out for him, trying to get something of him to hold onto. Just for as long as I could. And then, the realization hit me.

"Thomas, no! No, you aren't... Changing or whatever. It's just a hangover!" That wasn't a sentence I thought I'd ever say with so much relief.

He stopped and looked up at me. "A... a what?"

"A hangover. It's what happens when you drink too much." I laughed at the idea and reached for his hand again.

"So, I'm not...?"

"No."

He let out a breath of relief and slid out from underneath the desk. He smiled at me sheepishly. "Sorry. I didn't mean to freak out or anything."

"No, it's fine," I said, wiping away his tears. "I'm glad you're okay." He nodded, letting me pull him closer. I watched the rise and fall of his chest, and I let out a breath of air I didn't know I had been holding. I didn't deserve him.

"Alex?" he asked after a while. His heartbeats were still erratic.

"Hmm?"

He slid away from me, reaching out for my hand. "I have to show you something."

"Is it a good something?"

"That depends. It's something I started doing a long time ago to help calm me down, but I can't go without somebody, and I'd rather it be you than anybody else, so will you come with me?" he rambled, his eyes fixed on the floor.

He was referring to the spell Angelica had cast, which would alert her every time he was by himself. He had protested to it, of course, claiming that it stripped away his independency and his freedom, but she gently explained that it was for his own good.

"Yeah," I said, standing up and pulling him to his feet. "Come on, let's go! What is it?"

"You'll see," he said half-heartedly. After we put away everything I had set up from the night before, he led me down the stairs and through the hallways, his steps even and in time. I watched curiously, unable to take my eyes off of him. "What are you staring at?"