To Learn To Fall (Sequel to the Other Side)

Chapter Thirty (The Lost Warrior)

"How's Thomas doing?" Eliza asked finally, her eyes fixed on the fire raging in the hearth. I knew what she was thinking; I knew how she felt. How strange it was that such a small thing you can so easily take for granted could have brought an entire kingdom to its knees only a few hours ago. I felt like I was betraying Thomas by letting the fire warm me, but the truth of the matter was that I was cold.

"I don't know," I returned, swallowing.

We had been sitting in silence in Eliza's room since Angelica told me that Thomas needed some time for himself. I didn't want to leave him, but Thomas gave me a smile and told me he was alright. I don't know if I believed him or not. I wanted to, and I knew I had to trust him. So I had kissed him lightly and told him that I'd see him in the morning, and left him alone in the dark room we used to share. I had taken his swords with me, a precaution I hoped was unnecessary.

"I'm such a screwup," Eliza said, burying her face in her hands.

"Hey, Eliza! No! No, no, that's not true!" I protested, standing from the chair and crossing over to her.

She nodded miserably. "Yes it is. I... Alexander, you saw what happened. It's all my fault. I was only trying to help and—"

"Elizabeth Schuyler," I hissed, dropping and enveloping her in a hug. "It is not your fault."

She relaxed into me. "I'm sorry. I'm being stupid."

"It's alright. Really, I don't mind. You helped me. You can talk about it if you want to, but don't feel pressured to if you don't."

"I really don't want to. Thanks anyway."

"Okay," I murmured, and she eventually pushed herself away from me. "Want to play chess?"

Eliza sat there for a moment before smiling, wiping at her eyes with the heel of her palm. "That sounds good. Maybe I'll let you win this time."

"Oh! It's on!"

We didn't exactly forget about everything, but it was nice to think about something else for a little while besides the unrelenting concern for Thomas that was constantly plaguing my mind like a bad dream.

He just needs time. I'll see him in the morning, I told myself, relaxing as I moved forward a rook.

We were about halfway through with the game when the door slammed open, startling both of us. Eliza had a knife raised before I even knew what was happening, but the weapon came clattering to the table when she saw who was standing before us.

"Have either of you seen Thomas?" Angelica demanded immediately.

"What do you mean?" asked Eliza, standing up. "He's not in his room?"

Angelica was in front of me the next moment, making me flinch in surprise, and thrust something into my hands. I looked down at the crinkled piece of paper and smoothed it, letting my eyes skim over the words carelessly.

The meaning of the letter hit me like a bolt of lightning, sudden and unbelievably painful. "What?" I asked myself, reading it again far more thoroughly this time, and once more just to make sure I understood. "Fuck. Fuck! Where the hell is he?" Each word of the letter was worse than the sharpest sword cutting through my skin as the realization of what he was doing hit me all at once.

No. No, no, no.

I felt my body go numb, my breathing stop, my blood run cold. "I—I don't understand!" I mumbled, letting go of the note and sending it fluttering to the ground. I stepped backwards, the walls closing in on me. This had to be a joke, this had to be a joke. Oh God, please tell me this is just some cruel, sick joke, and that he's standing in the next room laughing at us.