The Stars Around Us

Chapter 59 ×ASHER×

We got there, hours later. Me and Chloe were in the back while Stephen and Jenna were up front. We walked into the room and they had already covered her body. I clenched my jaw at the sight and looked towards the corner where Dad was sitting, his eyes a vibrant red and his lip was trembling. He stood up and walked over to us, gathering us all into a hug. He told us that Ethan had said he couldn't take it anymore and went home about fifteen minutes ago. 

        "She uh, wrote us all a letter. I guess she was expecting it," he said. He handed us each a letter with our names on it and I folded mine and slid it into my pocket. Dad and I walked out, leaving Stephen, Chloe, and Jenna to say their goodbyes. Dad and I said nothing to each other and I was wondering why he was being so quiet. 

        I turned to him and he was staring at me, with an expression that I couldn't read. He didn't give an explanation and I didn't ask for one. We stood there in stony silence, neither of us speaking as we waited for them to get done.

        Four days had passed and I was getting ready for the funeral. I put on my suit and walked down to the waiting car after combing my hair back. 

        There were a lot of people there. Some I noticed from school whenever I'd pick Emmorie and Chloe up, others were family members that we never talked to anymore. I saw Ethan, up front talking to Dad. He had his hands in his pockets and his features were sunken in along with a pair of matching dark, baggy circles under his eyes.

        I thought about the letters again and pictured mine, sitting on my nightstand, unopened. I didn't want to look at it. I didn't want to read Emmorie's disappointed words. There wasn't a day that had gone by when I don't regret what I did, or didn't do, to her. I hated myself for it, and now I would never get the chance to make it right.

        The funeral wasn't that long. There was a lit of crying and comforting, but at some point in the middle of the service, Ethan walked away. No words or no goodbyes. He just took one last glance at the casket and walked away, with his head down and his lips were trembling. 

         A few minutes later, without any known reason, I went after him. I found him in the parking lot, sitting in his SUV, his head down on the steering wheel and his shoulders were shaking. He was crying and looking at a chain around his neck that had a small green stoned ring on it.

        I hadn't known why I decided to follow him, but seeing him there, all alone and so upset, it hurt. I didn't like the guy, but I couldn't imagine losing someone like that and I had always known he had loved her, I just didn't want to admit it because I didn't think he was worthy of my sister.

        I turned back around and went to my pickup truck. I couldn't sit through all that bullshit anymore. I drove straight home and then I went upstairs to my room, chucking off the suit and throwing on something comfortable.

        As I turned to leave, I caught sight of the letter. I sighed and walked over, picking it up. I slowly ripped off the seal and pulled out the piece of paper, slowly unfolding it.

       Asher,

I forgive you for being a shitty brother these past few weeks. I forgive you for all your mistakes because you're my brother and my best friend and I love you. Please take care of Chloe and Mom for me, Ash. We all have our wrongs and we all have our problems, and sometimes we can fix those, but sometimes we can't. I know you, so don't beat yourself up about what should have done but didn't. It's alright. I need you to do something for me though. Go to college. Get into that architect, or engineering program that you want so badly. You can use my savings if it's needed, but however you get in, just please do it, for me. I love you Ash, no matter what. 

     Love,

         Emmie.