I'll Ride For You, Homie

e l e v e n

October 5, 1999

Smutt

"You done avoiding me nih? It's been a minute, lil daddy." I pull up on Arique at the shop with the "housewarming gift" I got for him. He has no excuse to not talk to me now. Today is slow and there aren't any customers at the moment. I priced everything that was ready, already so he can't claim he got shit to do.

"Wasn't nobody avoiding you, Smutt." He rolls his eyes.

"Then why every time I try to talk to you alone you find a reason to get out of it? And why am I Smutt?"

"I don't know, you tell me why thats the name people call you." He replies smartly.

"Look man, I miss you bruh. I'm sorry if whatever happened made you uncomfortable, and I won't ask you to do no shit like that again. Aight?" I tell him sincerely. He completely ignores everything I just said. He's defensive, standing there with his arms crossed and looking off to the side as if I'm not standing here. I guess we only cordial around other people now. Oh well, it was good while it lasted. "I got'chu somethin'. Congratulations again on the new place." I place it on the desk and walk outside to work on some cars.

Actually, I think I'ma leave for today, I'on feel like bein' here.

With that last thought, I hop in my car and drive off to check what's going on with my main bitch. The trap. "Weasel what go dahn, baby?" I call him from my phone, "I'm on my way to you." I fire off, not really looking for a response.

"I'm wit' the wife right nih, bro." Sunnyside.

"Already, I'm comin' thru." I hang up and continue my ride there in silence. I'an fuckin' wit' whatever feelin' this shit here is.

**************

October 5, 1999

Arique

Great, now I feel bad. I thought to myself as I watched him leave. I already felt bad for doing my cousin dirty under her own roof. Now I feel bad because I feel like I'm being excessive with not talking to Delontae. I don't know what the fuck to do.

I've never seen him look so... down? Granted, I've only known him a few months, still I've never seen that look. His shoulders were slumped, eyes looked sad like he wanted to cry. I do miss him though. I miss talking to him about random shit, laughing at nonsense, smoking with him. I especially miss his kisses.

I know I was already doing Boo bad when he and I were doing all of that other shit, but it felt right, for lack of a better word. Don't get me wrong, sucking his dick felt right too, it's just... hell I don't know. Like it almost feels as if he's mine, of course I'm his, but we're with other people trying to fight the inevitable.

But I know it would be hard for us because nobody respects two men being in a relationship. Especially since he started off with my cousin. What would my family think if we got together? What about his two kids, the second one that he has on the way? Too many different variables that mess up the equation.

I look up when I hear somebody walk in. I ended up rolling my eyes because it's my mother. She's dressed professionally in a skirt suite, or whatever the right term is, with a badge, of some sorts, clipped to it. She showed her naked ass last time I saw her. All hugged up with Psych like... ew. Not her literal naked ass she was just boo loving and it made me sick.