I'll Ride For You, Homie

t w e n t y - s i x

December 31, 1999

Delontae

They let a real nigga out! Temporarily at least. My lawyer got everything set up. Being that this is my first time ever being locked up, I'm eligible for the first time offenders program. That means, after I complete all of the necessary requirements and stuff, this case will be dismissed. A nigga don't even have to go to court.

I got my lawyer to get me out for three days. But, I have to turn myself in at nine in the morning come Monday, January third of the new year. I didn't tell anyone about me being out of jail. I want to pop up and surprise my baby. Of course I'll be stopping by to see my kids first though. Or, I might ask Arique to get them and bring them over his place. Depends.

Arique said he pulled five kilo's from my trunk. I no longer ride like that—at all. So it is painfully obvious that somebody set me up. I know who it is, but I'm not sure how I want to handle it. No matter how much you tell yourself; prepare for the worst, but expect the best, it never really prepares you.

I have never trusted anyone in my entire life, aside from Arique. Well not fully anyway. I trust my brothers to an extent, but not fully. It's not that I think they're grimey, I just know that people are capable of doing grimey shit. Living the street life is already shife, so why would someone not expect someone to possibly get it how they live? I read a quote once by Tennessee Williams that said: "we have to distrust each other. It is our only defense against betrayal." That doesn't mean that when the betrayal happens it hurts any less. Some things are going to hurt regardless of if you know about it beforehand.

A nigga that I consider a friend—best friend. It hurts, but it's not unheard of. I don't want to believe he would ever do something like this to me, but I know that's how this game goes. But a nigga I grew up in the trenches with though? I was honest with my brother when I told him I had no gut feeling about Weasel, I really didn't pick up a bad vibe. But I did consider both of my brothers' when they said they'd gotten a bad feeling from him.

I'm through with the nigga, I'm not about to keep dwelling on the situation either. I've discovered how I felt about it, now I just have to figure out how I want to handle it. On to the next topic.

After I get my personal belongings and stuff, I walk out of the station and hop in my lawyers car.

"Where to, Mr. Williams?" He asks me.

Ehh, my baby first.

I rattle off Arique's address to him, hoping he is at home right now. Hell, they still have my car impounded and my keys, so if he ain't I'm assed out. "I appreciate the ride again, Mr. Simmons."

"Not a problem sir. May I speak freely, off the record?" He asks me.

"Of course, my nigga. You the one that started off bein' all professional and shit." I chuckle lightly, making him do the same.

"Squa'e biz." He drops his professionalism. I met Antoine in college when I was a freshman. He was on his senior year, working for his bachelor's in law. The nigga amazed me because he is super fucking smart, streetwise, and book wise. But, he wanted to live more than a street life which makes him genius to me.

Antoine isn't like me where he does both. He serves his people from the streets, by keeping us (black men and women) out of jail. I've never met a pro-black person in my life, until him.

Sometimes, he would get discouraged by our peoples ignorance. The lack for wanting to do, and be better. Or how we put each other down more-so than any other culture. How our culture is so lost, we deem ourselves as ghetto, letting others demean us in the same way. But when another culture does it, they're considered "cool" or "innovative" or whatever other bullshit term that can be used instead of calling it what it is. If you don't know what it is then I don't know what to tell you.