I'll Ride For You, Homie

t h i r t e e n

October 14, 1999

Arique

"Leave me the fuck alone bro." Psych keeps poking me in the face with his dirty Dorito fingers. "You are annoyin' as fuck man." I groan in frustration.

"Shut the fuck up. You love me." He smiles.

"I don't understand why yo' ass is eatin' in my livin' room any damn way." I cross my arms and eye him.

"'Cause I can bitch." He licks the dust from the chips off of his fingers. "It ain't like I'm makin' a mess and gettin' shit everywhere." He says around his chewing.

"I know yo' ass bet not touch my face no damn mo' after you done sucked on yo' fingers bitch." I mug him.

"I licked my fingers. I leave the suckin' to yo' freak ass."

"Whateva'." I roll my eyes. "I jus' know you bet no- BITCH!" I slapped the shit out of him. Now there is a red handprint on his face. I run to my room to get a q tip out of my bathroom, so I can get his nasty saliva out of my ear. I use about three. My ear is definitely dry, but I feel like I can still feel his nasty spitty finger in my ear.

I walk back to the living room to see him laughing. "That's why my hand is across yo' face. Bitch." I mumble the last word.

"Ahh." He's still laughing his ass off. "I wish you could see yo' face tho." Then he back hands my chest leaving a sting in it's wake. "Don't be hittin' on me tho, lil Arique." He gets serious for a second to tell me.

"Whatever you heavy handed bitch." I mush his head as hard as I can. "You deserved that shit fa' puttin' yo nasty ass saliva fingers in my ear." I mug him. Do I look like a fucking comedian to him? "You stay laughin' at bullshit bro." I shake my head at him.

"You welcome." He smiles at me.

"I'an said thank you either." I look at him like he weird.

"You didn't have to. I'm the highlight of peoples day whenever they arahn' me. A gift really."

The worse part about what he just said, is that his face is completely serious. He really believes the bullshit he spewed out of his mouth.

"Shut the fuck up, D. Why the fuck is you here any-damn-way?"

"You need to chill wit' all dat motha fuckin' cussin' n shit. I'ma christian man."

"D." I exhale harshly. He really is the annoying brother that I'm glad I didn't grow up with. "Why.are.you.here?" I ask him slowly in hopes he'll give me an answer. 

"Oh me?" He asks me with his hand on his chest. I just blink at him with a straight face. "Well my baby mama don't get off for another two hours, so I'm chillin' here til she does."

"Please tell me my mama not pregnant." I start to rub my temples.

"Naw." He laughs. "Not yet anyway, we workin' on it though."

"Naw bro. Y'all needa be usin' condoms. I don't wanna be twenty five years older than my brother or sister, that ship has sailed. Furthermore, YOU ARE MY AGE! I don't understand why my mama would fuck around wit'chu anyway." I shake my head.

"Is it 'cause I'm white?" He asks me seriously.

"NO MUH FUCKA! It's 'cause you the same age as her ONLY child."