Becoming Hers

58

*GRACIE'S POV*

Fuck it.

My mind was all over the place but Lexi's small phrase seemed to help me come to a decision. I was going home for the weekend. I didn't text my mum to let her know I was coming home because I wanted it to be a surprise when I walked through the front door. We talked on the phone nearly every day since I'd been gone, and she told me all about how things were going with Nick. She seemed so happy, and that made me happy. She deserved an amazing guy to treat her right and I hoped he was that guy. After my Dad left, she was so strong, she pretended that she was okay on her own, that she didn't need anyone else. She'd said Blake, Caleb and I were the only people she needed and wanted in her life, but deep down I knew she wanted something more, a guy to make her feel special, that was what everyone wanted, someone to make them feel loved. After hearing about how happy my Mum and Nick were together, it made me really think about everything I wanted in my life.

I wanted to not feel the way I did, I wished there was something I could do to change that because it was seriously beginning to effect me. I couldn't sleep and I was slightly falling behind on classes. It was all Lexi's fault, or at least that was what I told myself. I knew I was to blame for my negative attitude towards life but I wanted to blame Lexi because it gave me a reason to hate her.

But she was my person, my Lexi, and no matter what I did, nothing could've changed the way I felt towards her. Ever since I met her, Lexi was all I wanted. She was still all I wanted. I was willing to try long distance because I couldn't lose her forever. I'd lost her for about a month and honestly that felt like a lifetime without her.

After hours of trying to talk myself out of loving her, I slipped a pair of sweatpants on and one of Lexi's hoodies over my pyjama t-shirt. When I put the hood over my head, I immediately inhaled her scent. Her hoodie smelt so good, but it wasn't enough. I wanted to snuggle up to her as we shared a blanket, like the night of her birthday when I surprised her with the blankets in the truck. But it was a little cold to do that again so a bed would have been fine, perfect in fact.

My phone fitted into my back pocket and I picked up my keys and held them tight in my hands. I tried not to wake Kayla as I snuck out of the room but I obviously failed at that.

"Where are you going?" She asked, her voice sleepy which made me laugh.

"I have to go," I mentioned, not adding any extra information to the end of my sentence. I had to see her and I couldn't wait until the morning, Lexi needed to know that I loved her and I missed her like crazy.

"It's nearly three in the morning," She stated as she glanced at her phone screen. I wasn't aware of the time but I hadn't slept so it didn't make a difference to me. I'd been sat in the same position for hours, thinking about what I could've done to make the situation better between us.

"I need to see her," Kayla nodded, understanding what I was saying. She knew how badly it was hurting me, but she didn't know much about Lexi. Of course I talked about her quite a lot, but she wasn't aware that she had tried to kill herself, or much else other than the fact that I was completely madly in love with her.

"Do you want me to come with you? It's kind of late," I appreciated it a lot but I couldn't let her do that. I needed to drive to Lexi by myself because I already knew that I'd be a mess on my way over there.

I shook my head, then replied, "It's okay, I think I need to do this alone, but thanks though," I smiled at her.

She was now sat up straight with her back propped up against the wall. Her eyes watched me as I awkwardly stood near the door, waiting for her to stop worrying about me. I was okay, I just had something I needed to do.