𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐌𝐀𝐍! | harry styles

𝐕

June 29, 2009

Isabella,

Thank you for the birthday wishes. I received your letter on the 25th, and I've been struggling with how to respond. I think I'll tackle the hard part first to get it out of the way.

Yes, you are the first person to write. I wasn't lying when I said I needed a friend. I ran with a bad crowd in Chicago. They weren't "friends," and even if they had contacted me, I wouldn't have responded. I've moved on and don't need people like that in my life. I hung with better people here, but when you end up in the slammer, people you've only known for a few months don't stick around.

As for family, I'm an only child. My mother passed away. My father is dead to me. So no. No letters. No visitors. We can't receive phone calls. We can make them, but we have to either call collect or buy a phone card through the commissary. Even if I had someone to call, I have better things to spend my money on like paper and tooth paste that doesn't suck and strawberry Pop-Tarts.

I guess that wasn't so hard after all. You can ask anything, just take it easy on me, okay? I may not answer right away, but I will never ignore you, Isabella. You don't deserve that.

My counselor says these are the types of things I have to get used to talking about. I can't hide my past, and I have a lot of anxiety about how people will react when I get out. You say you won't judge me, but you have already. You've given me your first name and the address of the university. You say you're from the "southwest." I don't blame you. You are protecting yourself, as you should. People will always guard themselves from me. It's something I have to accept.

I don't know where I'll go when I get out, but I don't have the means to get very far. I came to Seattle to check out the music scene. I never want to go back to Chicago. The southwest does sound nice. Maybe someday . . .

I play the piano. It's by far my favorite. I had one that I put in storage before I moved, but I'm sure it's long gone by now. I can play the string instruments (violin, viola, cello, bass) but nothing very complex. I'm probably pretty rusty by now. I've tried playing almost everything at some point. I have a better understanding of instruments and their roles than I am at actually playing, but that's what is important.

You're not boring at all. I enjoy reading also, but the selection here isn't too great. I've never been hiking. I do a lot of jogging here and outdoor maintenance for the prison, so I know about cold, wet socks all too well. I've even splurged on a second pair of shoes. I miss going to the movies. There's a TV room here, but we only have the basic channels. I don't watch much.

I'm glad you will continue writing. It's very kind of you to do this. Thank you again.

Your inside man,
Harry

p.s. What is your favorite food?