𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐌𝐀𝐍! | harry styles

𝐗𝐗𝐈𝐈𝐈

Harry Styles #15604091
Waterview State Correctional Facility

December 11, 2009

Dear Harry,

I feel the need to apologize. First, I'm sorry that my decision to send you money took your choice away. It was never my intention to force it upon you. If it's any consolation, doing so made me feel good about myself. You can pay me back if you'd like, but I hope you'll let me continue to help you instead.

Second, I feel awful about demanding you tell me about your past when you were clearly not ready. When I hadn't heard from you after my last letter, I thought that maybe I pushed too hard and you decided this wasn't worth the effort. I think I understand why you wanted to wait, but at least now it's out in the open. You don't have to worry about it anymore. You've told me, and I'm still with you.

You are earning my trust, Harry. You've been earning it for the past six months. We both have our guards up for good reasons, and I realize that you've dropped yours unwillingly. You could have ignored me or told me no, but for whatever reason, it was more important for you to step outside of your comfort zone. There hasn't been a time when you've demanded anything from me. A birthdate, a visit, a phone number—you've always requested information from me politely and without pressure. I understand you're not in a position to be demanding, but neither am I.

Thank you for giving me the details of the crimes you were charged with. Of course I have more questions now, but I will wait for the answers until you're ready to tell me.

I have a feeling there's more to your past than what you described. Was it your first brush with the law? Did your father refuse to help you or was your falling out before that? And why on Earth were you carrying a gun in the first place? Prescription drugs are serious. You were basically forced into sobriety. It's been a long time, but do you think you'll struggle with temptation when you get out? What about cigarettes? I know recovering alcoholics and smokers say the craving never goes away. I hope it won't be difficult for you to stay clean.

Thanksgiving was good. I spent it with my dad, so it was kind of like any other day. We ordered pizza. I'm visiting my mom in Phoenix over Christmas and crossing my fingers that she has a more palatable spread. This is probably a dumb question, but do you get to celebrate holidays? Does the day feel different from the rest somehow?

My dad heads the State Patrol's Investigative Services Bureau. The division deals with narcotics, missing persons, forensics, criminal records, organized crime, etc. Don't go having another almost-heart-attack. My dad is a good man who went out of his way to help me visit you sooner. Just remember that.

I've been stressing out over finals. They're next week. Hopefully it will be smooth sailing for the rest of the year, assuming I don't fail miserably and get banned from campus. Since you probably won't get this letter for another week, I guess I won't have to tell you not to call me during class. I have a cell phone, so when you have the opportunity to make a call, I'll be available. If you want to talk, you can reach me at 206-555-2368. As for another visit, I probably won't be able to get in for at least another month, and I'm crossing my fingers that you'll be out by then.

In case I don't get the chance to tell you in person, have a merry Christmas.

Truly,
Bella