𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐌𝐀𝐍! | harry styles

𝐗𝐈

September 1, 2009

Dear Bella,

Jesus Christ, girl. You damn near gave me a heart attack when you opened your last letter with "I can't write to you anymore." Be glad I was sitting or I'd probably be writing from a hospital bed. If someone had heard my uncontrollable sobs, I'd be their bitch right now. In all seriousness though, don't ever do that to me again. Ever. I can't handle jokes like that, not here. Not when you're all I have.

What's the catch? I'm in prison.

Your apartment sounds nice. I hope it doesn't take me long to find a place I can call my own. Unpacking shouldn't be a challenge seeing as I don't own anything. Yet. I'm going to buy a piano. I don't know how long it will take to save the money, and it will probably be cheap and old and sound like crap, but it beats not having one at all. See? I am trying to think about the future. Realistically anyway.

I'll do anything for work if it means I'm out of here. I'm not in a position to be picky. People will write me off-the good people. Thank you for the information about your coworker, but a few months in rehab is not the same as serving 11 years of hard time. You don't have to help me. You should spend the time doing something for yourself.

Once I get out I'm never coming back. I made bad decisions and did dumb shit. I was angry and young and stupid. I thought I was invincible. This has been a very eye opening experience for me. I'm not a bad person, Bella. I won't ever do anything to end up here again.

I don't feel threatened, but I don't necessarily feel safe if that makes sense. I keep to myself as much as possible. There are groups I've associated with as well. I don't trust anyone. I'm always cautious. Anything can happen. For the most part I've been lucky.

I should support you being responsible and getting a job, but the selfish part of me knows it'll mean you'll write less frequently. If you decide to wait, make sure to do something fun for me this summer. I take it your mom is paying for your apartment since you didn't mention needing a job to pay rent. That's very nice of her. I'd like to think my mother would do the same for me if she were alive today.

I love all music, especially when it's live. There's something exhilarating about watching the instruments come to life. Shows in small venues were always my favorite, even if I had never heard of the band before.

Don't cancel the order of Funfetti. It will be my one exception to the packaged food ban.

I honestly can't begin to tell you what your letters mean to me. You're probably sick of me thanking you, but I need you to know. Sometimes I feel as though I've known you my entire life. The past three months have been different somehow. I don't know. It's like you're always with me. A little voice in my head telling me that things will be okay. I think I'm finally starting to believe it.

Please don't make me wait too long.

Your inside man,
Harry

p.s. Why did you pick me?