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I've been making moves lately. I finally decided to get my own crib. I need my own space, and I'm tired of my momma all in my shit, and mean mugging me while walking round the house.
I'm out with Lauren looking at a couple of spots. Even tho she is Nips girl, she been my best friend since diapers, she is also my cousin.
She always got my back, no matter how dirty of a dog she always reminds me I am.
I could have taken my mom's, but she'd talk my ear off bout the neighborhood, or the style of the house, or how much space is round the house and if the kids will like it.
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"How about this place, I like it, and it looks Momma S worthy, I think this is it," Lauren said looking around the living room area. I had to admit this was a nice lil spot.
"Yeah I can live here, set up a nice lil room for Amani..." Lauren cuts me off squealing, "And a pretty princess type room for Aubree, ooo have cookouts in the back yard, and umm.."
I cut her off, "Woah slow yah roll Lauren, you talking like you bout to live up in here, I like all that shit you said, and I'm a do more, to make this place say, "Anthony's Crib," yeah and make sure to have lil spot in here for Melanie too." I watch as the smile dropped from Lauren's face.
"Ant, come on man," She said frowning at me. "What," I said spreading my arms out not seeing what the problem was.
"You gotta let that go, you gotta move on from that idea that you and Melanie are ever getting back together," Lauren sighed sitting on the edge of the couch.
"And why would I do that, why would I give up on trying to be with the love of my life."
"Anthony it won't be the same. She won't be able to trust you like she did before. I mean godsakes Anthony you were cheating on her while she was giving birth to your son. You missed the most precious moment you too could ever share, because you couldn't keep yah dick in your pants." Lauren hissed making me hot mad.
"AND WHAT A NIGGA CAN'T CHANGE," I shout mugging the shit out Lauren. "I ain't been with a woman since I found out about Aubree, when her mother was 2 months pregnant with her. I've been focused on the trap and my kids. I've changed Lauren, can't you see that. I gave up my dog ways."
"You gave them up a little too late cuzzo, I mean sure Melanie still has love for you, but that doesn't just erase all the heart ache and rough times you put her through. She may seem to be all nice and sweet to you, but that is for the sake of Amani. She keeps you in her life for him. Don't try to force your way back into the house, you have to let go. I'll let you handle things with the realtor. I have to go pick up Kross from the daycare for a dentist appointment." She gets up patting my shoulder making her way out the house. I sit down on the couch dropping my head into my hands.
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Is she right dawg? Is it really over with me and Mel? Have I really lost all chances of getting my baby back? ---
