17 year old Jaylani escapes her past with an abusive mother and boyfriend back in Chicago to live with her 19 year old brother Stokeley in Broward county Florida. Jaylani has numerous mental illnesses such as schizophrenia, mixed personality disorde...
I took a deep breath. It all started when my dad left my mom for a younger woman. My mom became severely depressed and wouldn't work, take care of me and Stoke, or even feed us. Stoke had to rob people and sell drugs. He got prison time for a while and I was left alone with her. Shortly before that, she started hitting me. Stoke was sometimes there to defend me. Then I met Tyrone. He was light-skinned.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
We had a great relationship from age 13-15. Then he started hitting me, knocking me trying to rape me. One time I went to a party and they drugged me and raped me. Not specifically raped we didn't have sex, but they took advantage of me. So I'm still a virgin.
He wouldn't let me break up with him and Stoke ran from the police and came here and knew nothing about it. I started selling drugs and didn't get caught. I have flashbacks from when I was blacked out. A few days I saw that Tyrone tried to take off my shirt and I bashed his head in with a frying pan and slit his stomach with a knife. I think that's why I was covered in blood when I got here. My mother probably starved or I killed her I don't remember.
But I took 34 Benadryl's and passed out. I was so depressed and that was the first time I tried to kill myself. The ambulance came because Stoke came home early. (This was before he got caught and ran) I stayed at the hospital but snuck into the pharmacy and tried to kill myself again in the hospital.
After that, they sent me to a mental hospital for 2 months. I already had bad anxiety and depression, I took pills for it. But, I then developed a new person in my brain, an angry person. I was crazy I killed all the fish there. Hospitalized two nurses and basically almost killed everyone there. I was basically in the hole of an asylum. When I was released I was diagnosed with mixed personality disorder and schizophrenia. They also diagnosed me with OCD because I told them I heard voices telling me to do things. Now I'm here.
Wow, Jahseh said. We're really alike, it's almost scary. Yeah, I replied. Jahseh then scooted closer to me, and whispered in my ear: I want to make you feel alright. I smiled and got up. Knowing what he wanted to do. I grabbed my phone off the table and opened the front door. I looked back, he was staring at me looking sad. Are you coming or what? I asked. His eyes lit up and he ran towards me and out the door. I laughed as he ran to Stokeleys house.
Stokeley was sitting on the couch, red bags under his eyes with all the lights on. He looked like he hadn't slept in 48 hours. He snapped his head in the direction of the door and stood up running to me. Where the fuck have you been?! He yelled. I didn't know what to say, I um... fell asleep on Jahsehs couch watching keeping up with the Kardashians since we don't have that channel. He looked down at my legs, I don't know why but he said: Walk in a circle don't try to keep your legs straight. Jahseh rolled his eyes as if he knew what he was doing. I did as Stokeley told me to and he pulled my hood off my head. He took a deep breath seeing the hoodies. And angrily looked at Jahseh, he stomped towards him punched him in the face causing Jahseh to stumble out the door. Stoke then closed the door and locked it. He looked so angry, his eyes were almost completely black. He walked towards me slowly and took a deep breath. I don't want you to talk to Jahseh anymore, he said trying to remain calm. My heart hurt a little, why? I asked. Because he's dangerous, and I don't want you around him. I walked away and went to my room and sat on the bed starting to cry. Jahseh was the only person I trusted besides Stoke that I could see everyday, I had real feelings for Jahseh and I didn't know how to just make them go away.
Jahseh POV:
Stoke punched me in my eye and it was now purple and bleeding a little. He had her walk in a circle to see if she was limping to see if I had sex with her. I didn't, I guess he saw the hickeys on her neck and punched me. I guess I deserved it, I knew I was dangerous and Jaylani was too good for me. Stoke was very protective of her and I understand that knowing the incident that happened a few months ago, and knowing all the shit they've been through. I started to cry knowing that I was probably going to lose Stokeley and Lani now. They were the only people I had left that made me not feel like I wanted to die every second. I went to the bathroom grabbing my old razor blade. I slowly cut across my wrist it hurt but I did it to make the pain go away not to die. A few drops of blood fell to the floor but not a lot. I sighed and poured rubbing alcohol on it. I groaned in pain and wiped the liquid off my arm. I then went to grab some boxers and a revenge hoodie and set them on the sink. I then got in the shower and got out and brushed my teeth after I got dressed. I cried as I did so but silently. This was the first time I felt something other than happiness since I met Jaylani. I got into bed and stared at the ceiling and tears fell down my face until I fell asleep.
