Nineteen: "Do You Hurt When You Think of Our Ugly Past?"

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Calum's head was still spinning as he laid in bed

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Calum's head was still spinning as he laid in bed. Michael, Michael, Michael, Michael was all that was swirling around his mind a day after his interaction with the pink haired boy. He called in sick from work, choosing to spend the day in his bed and sweats. He was sick, mentally of the games and the confused state he was always in. It was exhausting having to do the run around at work, tip toeing with what he said and how he acted with his coworkers and especially Tomlinson.

Harry was still unsure on everything and he had to constantly assure the brunet that it would all work out if he had a little more time. Time, time, time, Calum kept asking for it but he never knew when the time would come around to where he wouldn't have to act like this or feel like this.

He trudged over to the front door when his doorbell went off, opening the door with a squint at the bright sunlight that drooled into his dim apartment. He checked down the hall when no one was standing there for him, expecting to see a few kids running away like they normally did. Shaking his head, he shut his door back, turning and freezing at the sight of Ashton sitting on the counter.

"You always fell for that trick, even now, as I can see." The honey haired man spoke, looking around the apartment from his spot.

Calum watched the other man perched in the counter, slowly moving around the room before Ashton spoke with an eye roll, holding up the gun, "You need to learn to hide this better, Cal. It's almost like you want someone to find it."

He jumped off the counter, tossing the gun at Calum carelessly as he fixed his shirt that rode up a little. His boots made a light noise every time he stepped, Calum watching his every movement as the shorter boy walked around his apartment with wandering eyes. His grip on the gun tightened but he hadn't made a move to take the safety off, his finger on the trigger and the barrel pointed at the floor in the least threatening stance he could ever hold when in Ashton's presence.

He flipped around to meet Calum, hazel locking onto brown and Calum took an unconscious step back as he stared at Ashton. Ashton Irwin, who was somehow able to look as psychotically calm as he took a step closer to Calum. Their movements were in sync, Calum cursing under his breath when he felt his back hit the wall and Ashton closed him in. He flinched when Ashton raised his hand to the side of his face, the gun dropping from his grasp.

Ashton's touch was gentle against Calum's cheek, nails barely grazing the olive skin of his face. Calum's eyes fluttered closed, lips trembling in a sudden fear and daze that only Ashton himself could inflict upon Calum. His head was turned to the side, a shaky breath leaving his lips when Ashton's hand gripped his chin and forced him to look. He kept his eyes closed, a teary mist building behind his eyelids as he squeezed them shut.

"Ooh, Cal." Ashton cooed at him, running his thumb over his cheek, "You're so lost and broken because of yourself."

"I know. I-" He opened his eyes to look at Ashton when the boy cut him off.

"You know what I have to do, yes? That this is the only way for everything to be okay?" He nodded mutely, making Ashton sigh. "You're still scared."

He gripped Ashton's wrist when the boy pulled away, making Ashton look up at him with soft hazel eyes of insanity, "Why-Why was I ever scared?"

"You'll figure it out soon enough. You should go into work tomorrow, clean up today because your house is a mess and I know you don't like messes. You also need to cook the chicken in there or it'll spoil. I'll see you soon, Cal."

He nodded, letting his head hang in defeat when Ashton leaned up and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek before pulling away. He slid to the ground beside his fallen gun as Ashton left his apartment. He stayed on the floor for a while, pushing up to stand to his feet and find his phone. He dialed the needed number, going upstairs to his room and stripping off his old pants. Louis picked up when he grabbed a new pair, taking his time to tell his boss that he'd be in for a certain tomorrow. Louis gave him the okay, briefly questioning him on Harry's condition when he wouldn't talk about his own 'sickness' that he got over in a day. Bidding a goodbye, he hung up and plugged his phone into the charger.

Working around his room, he listened to Ashton though the boy wasn't there, and cleaned up the untidy surrounding that he was uncomfortable in for the mess. He made his bed then left the room to clean the living room. He stuttered in his step for a second when he noticed the chicken sitting in the fridge in a different container most likely from Ashton. He took it out and began preparing it to cook.

Ashton was still a controller in his life, a brief moment it took and a few simple commands from the younger and Calum would listen like a soldier to his general. He blankly stared at nothing as the food cooked, licking his lip as his vision blurred, not sure if it was for lack of blinking or the tears.

Calum knew this day would come and that this would have to happen for what he did, something he couldn't even remember now and something he was sure he'd regret if he did remember it.

Calum was going to die and it was going to be by Ashton's will.

{~~~~}

Ashton's a good mother, checking in on Calum and all.

Buuuuuttt thank you for reading. Have a question with your cheese....(>~<)/ 🧀 . We got a little platonic Cashton chapter, flipping finally. Honestly, Cashton is my favorite ship.

But any questions, concerns, or comments?

Until next chapter, funky freaks. Adios.....

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