the thing about revenge

21 e n t y - o n e : leaves and white binders

Clint sucked in a lungful of air as I waited with him in the nurse office.

"That was well deserved," I grunted.

"Hey-"

"You should never have started the fight! You know Quentin is a jerk, why'd stoop to his level?"

"No, but-"

"Whatever he did, you should never have-"

"He called you a fucking whore, Emily." He spat out, enraged. His fists were balled by his sides and thankfully the nurse was away or she would get a heart attack from Clint's sudden spike in blood pressure.

I choked. Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit. I forcefully swallowed down my sobs. The chest was heaving and I couldn't quite breathe in the stuffy nurse room. Oh shit. Why?

"What the fuck? This shit is so easy, I can't believe you can't even do this!" Brendy, the Miss Popular in middle school said in her childish chipped voice as she stared at my worksheets. Reese stood beside me and her shoulders tensed up, her breathing hitched and she looked as though she wanted to lung forward to smack her upside down. We were only 13 then. I tightened my grip on her arm, shaking my head no. I didn't want her to get into trouble because of me.
   
And then Brendy did something so mean, I couldn't comprehend which 13-year-old mind could possibly think of doing it. She threw my papers that she snatched from my hands into the air in one swift motion and I watched in horror as they floated down across the corridor and then she took my bag pack and threw it down the school building.
   
"You're such a bitch, always walking around with that fake smile of yours and your stupid friend-" Brendy started. I felt the tears prick at the back of my eyelids. Middle school was such a scary place. I shuddered as I cast my gaze downward, unable to form words to spit back at her.
   
"Who the hell do you think you are to be talking to her like that?" A voice thundered down the corridor and I slowly looked up. My brother walked suavely down the hallway and he stood standing defensively in front of me. Puberty had hit him like a truck at 13 and he towered over Brendy.
   
"Oh, I was just talking to your sister about some things. But I see now that it is indeed an inconvenient time now." She faked smiled at me, before turning to go.
   
"Apologize to her, now," Clint demanded as he grabbed onto her Nike jacket.
   
She glared at Clint.
   
"I don't want to repeat that." He growled.
   
"I'm sorry." She glared at me.

That was the day I decided that I couldn't go on with the torment any longer and grew a backbone for myself. I knew Clint wouldn't forever be there for me and I had to count on myself for everything. I snapped at whoever tried to bully me and gave it back as well as the insults that they sent my way. But today, god, today felt different. I was affected, my heart ached and I didn't know why. It had been too long since I've received jibes from people but I especially hated that word. A whore, I winced, it just fucked me up.

"Hey, Emily," Clint said softer this time, more gently. "Don't let what he said get to you. It doesn't matter."

Yes, it does.

"What are you doing here anyway? Were you waiting for me?" He asked.

"No, it's complicated. I'm obliged to attend all of Asher's trainings and all his games." I winced, I knew exactly how much Clint hated Asher.

"What?"

"Yeah, I owe him."

"Well, in case you didn't notice, I take it upon myself to remind you that he's one of them. The people who bullied you. The people who tormented you in middle school."