ɪ'ʟʟ ʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴏᴍᴇ ➻〚𝙣𝙘𝙩 𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢 𝙤𝙩7〛

Flashback: I'll Be Your Home

Mark's POV-Age:19

"Last Call for Flight 127, Seoul to Vancouver. Gates will be closing in ten minutes," rang the monotone voice of the painfully uninterested gate attendant over the loudspeaker in the bustling, ever-moving atmosphere of the airport, everyone minding their own business as they fly through the airport with their phones in hand, earbuds plugged in, and heads down with their luggage trailing behind. Everyone except me and the boys, that is.

Even as the people in the fast-paced, brisk atmosphere airport keep moving forward with their day, their minds set on a specific destination just a plane flight away, I find myself somewhat frozen in time, wanting to prolong my fate as long as possible, craving the past instead of the imminent future. A breath of hesitation getting caught in my throat, I look back at my six best friends, tears caught in my eyes, as I realize that this is really it for me, for them, for us.

I'm mere moments from stepping into my foreseeable future, so close to jumping into a deep hole of the unknown, only bound to find out what's inside once I round up the courage to take the leap. I'm not ready, nor do I want to take this leap, but everything is secured now; there's no turning back or second-guessing myself.

All of the boys, Jaemin, Haechan, Jeno, Renjun, Chenle, and Jisung stare back at me, backs standing straight and proud, shoulders rolled back, and close-lipped smiles showing themselves on all of their faces. They're trying to stay strong, to show me that they're proud of me and that they have their full confidence in me to do well back in Vancouver. I'm sure that they're confident in me; they would never lose faith in me, given how long we've been together.

Yet, they're trying to also convey that they know I'll be back home, with all of them, someday. I see that hope and earnesty in their eyes, like the dull glimmer of the moon through the clouds. Both them and I know that hope is there and the shine won't disappear, but at the same time, it's clouded by so many unknowns that will only reveal themselves as time passes so excruciatingly slow.

"Markie, I can see the worry in your eyes. Don't be worried, please. I know that you'll do your best in whatever you do, and I have all of my confidence in you," Haechan whispers, grabbing my hand affectionately. His warmth extends through my body, penetrating through my skin as his touch neutralizes the worries and stress I'm holding inside. My body begins to unravel its many thoughts emotions that are knotting up inside, and I soon feel vulnerable and exposed, like a bare, frayed thread.

"But Mark, I know that what's plaguing you isn't what is necessarily about university and how you'll do, but just like we all have confidence in you, I want you to be confident in us. We'll brave the storm, go on our own paths, but in the end, we'll meet up and be just as happy as we are now, okay? Don't think of this parting moment as something you'll reminisce about. Think of it as a memory, a chapter in a story between all seven of us that will continue to be written until the end," Haechan finishes emotionally, yet pridefully, walking closer to me, his beautiful, glazed over eyes and chocolate irises staring deeper than just my solemn expression and tense body.

Haechan's words strike me like an arrow through the heart, stunning me. I think for a moment, but it doesn't take long to realize that he's absolutely correct. I'm feeding off of and internalizing the fact that they have trust in me to do my best and come back to them an even smarter, more accomplished man, but I haven't explicitly put my full trust in them or in myself, for that matter. And I should have. After all, I've grown up with them by my side and know every last detail about them. In all honesty, I have more confidence in them that they'll be able to keep our beautiful friendship alive than I have in my own ability to do so.

Haechan's also correct on another front. I can't think of this as an ending, as just a part of my childhood to reminisce about when I'm an elderly, experienced man all on my own. That'll only be a chapter, a conflict in the story of our life that'll resolve over time. We'll reconvene soon enough, and the story will continue with all of us together, as a powerful group of friends, before I can realize. At least, that's the mindset I need to hold if I'm going to be able to enjoy, or at least endure, the next four years.