Broken Doesn't Mean Fixed

Goodbye

I stared out my window wondering what has become of my life. Wondering 'What have I done?'. I sat there starring out of my window forever. Thinking about that one question. Nothing came to mind. I've done nothing. Atleast nothing good.
First of all I'm the reason my parents got into a divorce. And second of all... I have no friends. No boyfriend. Just no life. I guarantee everyone you ask will agree.
I stood up from sitting on my window sill and walked towards my bathroom. Once my parents split up I got their old room. Mom wanted to sleep in my room and dad moved out as fast as he could.
Today was the day I went down the drain. Today is the day.
I took off all my bracelets that were hiding my scars. They were really sore today for some reason. I grabbed my sweater and car keys and my phone and walked out of my room. My mom was sobbing in her bedroom so it was okay for me to sneak out.
I opened every drawer. Every cabinet and couldn't find the- Ha found it. I grabbed the peace of metal and hid it in my sweater.
I casually walked out to my car when of course my 'friend' Lisa pulled up. Fuck.
"Hey Skylar. I was wondering if you wanted to go get our lip peirced together. You promised" she winked and smiled at me.
"Look Lisa I have to go grab my mom her anxiety medication but I can in an hour?" I put a fake smile on and pull my sleves down further to hide the cuts if it was possible to pull them any further.
She nodded and got back in her car and waved at me and drove away. I threw my phone and metal into the passenger seat and put my keys into the ignition. Mama rolling that body got every man in here- sorry that's a song.
I backed up out of my driveway and sped away.
I had no idea where I was going or what I was doing but I needed to do it. I had no choice really.
I drove for about an hour. Actually five minutes but it felt like an hour. I arrived at school. Might as well do it at hell right? I mean it's were it all started.
I parked in a teachers spot. Might as well be a bad ass right?
I got out of the car and looked around. Okay good. No one was making out. It's a Friday after school so you know I expected someone to be here but I guess not.
I grabbed my phone and metal and opened my car door. I got out and started walking to the middle of the field. I looked around. It was such a gloomy day. The sky was gray and covered in clouds. No sun what so ever.
I grabbed my phone and made a group chat so I wouldn't have to send it more than once. Cause I know as soon as I send it to the first person, they will come and attempt to rescue me.
The group chat consisted of: My mother, my father, Lisa, my older bother Nick and my grandma who I cared for very much.
I started typing:
Hi everyone. I just needed you to know I care about each and every one of you and also I need you to know it wasn't you. It was everyone else. I wish I could go back in time and start over but I can't I'm so sorry. Lisa: You were a good friend. Tell Calum I thought he was hot. Nick: You were the best brother I could ever ask for. I hope you graduate college. Mom: Love you lots. Please fell better. Dad: Your my hero. I love you. And Grandama: Your the strongest women I know. I love you all. I hope you'll remember me. Xoxo
The I hesitate. But my finger doesn't obey when I tell it to hold on. I send it. I quickly drop my phone.
I grab the metal. I didn't want to call it a gun. I don't know why I just didn't.
Goodbye everyone. I hate all of you.
Then I put the cold peace of metal to my forehead. I pull the trigger.