Broken Doesn't Mean Fixed

I'm not waking up

I just stared at my body. I can't believe I was breathing. I really didn't wanna wake up. I deserve to die! That's why I killed myself.
One of the doctors came in to check my oxygene was flowing. Then she just stared at me.
"You know darling?" she had a southern accent. "I'm not sure why you killed- pardon me. Attempted to kill yourself. Your so beautiful and your whole family is in the waiting room just waiting for me to give them the news that your alive. I hope you wake up honey." She smiled ans walked out the room. I stood there thinking about that.
My head was bandaged from my surgery. Well removing the bullet. Appearently it was a miracle. I would't have any brain problems. I guess that was a plus. I decide to go follow her to see my family.
I saw her turn the corner. I ran through the door and sprinted to catch up to her. Her red wavy hair was bouncing as she walked. It was so cool how I could like walk through walls.
We turned the corner. I saw my family, my 'friends', everyone. I saw Nick in tears for the second time that week. I saw my mom leaning against Nicks shoulder and my dad sucking back is tears. Lisa's eyes were red and puffy and she was holding my mom's and... No way.
Harley?
Why was he here. I get it I guess. We were best friends. His eyes were also red and puffy. His beautiful brown eyes didn't deserve to be like this. He didn't need to cry over me.
They all looked up to see the doctor. They all stood up.
"Your daughter is fine. She's breathing" Then reality struck. No no no. I didn't want to live! I started running back to my room.
I needed to stop this. I ran through my door and looked at my warm body. No no no! I ran over to me and tried to remove my mask. My hand went through. Ugh great. I looked around the room.
I then thought 'What if I just hold my breath?' so I tested it. I was holding my breath. All of a sudden my screen goes black. It worked!
All the doctors and the nurses rushed in and rushed me into some other room. I didn't want to follow. I just walked towards the waiting room my family and friends were sitting in.
I looked at all their faces. Red. That made me sad. They didn't need to cry.
I sat beside Harley. I leaned over and whispered in his ear. "Hey. You know what you should do? Tell Skylar how you feel about her"
As soon as I said it I felt selfish. See this is why I killed myself god.
He looked up. He stood up and walked over to the front desk and asked for a peace of paper and a pen. I saw him sit further away from my family and he started writing:
Dear Skylar,
Hey. It's me. Harley. Your best friend. I'm worried about you. I never knew you were this sad. If you told me do you know what I would have done? Never leave your side that's what. I honestly need to tell you how I feel though. I know it sounds like were in the movies and I need to tell you that I've fallen in live with you and all that bullshit- but I think your really amazing. You know? Your cute and beautiful and funny and well everything I can think of. But I need to tell you something I haven't told anyone else. Well... I was diagnosed with a personality disorder. And it's weird but true. I'm not myself every day. I'm diffrrent all the time. Well of course I have medication to tone it down but they never work right?
I love you Skylar.
PS. I know you think I'm hot you cutie.
And then he looks at it for a while. Re reading it over and over. I can't stop smiling. I never knew he felt this way about me. Of course he doesn't like me. Neither do I but... I can't believe he has a personality disorder.
Of course I won't judge him on it. I start to feel my body heat up again. Crap I was alive. I ran back into my room.
There I was lying all healthy and shit. "Listen here you." I said to my body walking closer and closer slowly. "You? Yeah you can't wake up. Fuck that. Just stay dead. Please."
And as if my body doesn't listen I start to cough. No! I'm not waking up! I tried holding my breath but the coughing only got worse. The southern doctor sped walked in. Her eyes widened.
"She's waking up!" she screamed. Exuse me? I ran up to her. "No please I can't go back!" I scream at her but of course she doesn't hear me.
Two other doctors ran in. Both of witch I reconized from the scene of the crime. There eyes widened to.
Then a flash of white blinded me. And then nothing.