red ; bts

fifty four

"Hey, man. Go back inside. It's cold." Jungkook approaches the slightly worn bench where Taehyung sits with his back turned to him. His face is blank, pale except for his nose and ears which are slightly pink. His hair is messy, eyes mostly emotionless. The cold breeze doesn't induce a tremble anymore. He's seemed to grow immune.

"Aren't you supposed to be in Busan?" Taehyung asks dryly. He voice sounds a little coarse, but this cold, harsh air will do that to you.

"Well," Jungkook answers, "I'm not supposed to be anywhere." His voice comes out as bland as his friend's. The atmosphere around here's been unnervingly strange. No one's in their right minds. No one knows for sure what anyone is thinking. "I decided I'd postpone the trip a few hours. Thought I'd stick around a little longer since—well, you know."

"How's Hobi-hyung?" Taehyung asks, keeping his empty stare down on the faded grass while Jungkook steps around and takes a seat next to him. "Have you heard from him?"

"No." Jungkook shakes his head. "He's in no place to answer his phone." He answers, softly. His words leave his mouth in an airy sigh that condenses out in front of him. He pulls his sleeve over his fingers. "Can't imagine what must be going through his mind. I hope he's okay."

"Yeah," Taehyung nods weakly, "me too." He glances over at the dead bushes and the now-faded purple watering can resting on the rusted shelf and the neglected water buckets and the worn yellow gardening gloves and the lonely lifelessness of it all. "No word of a funeral?"

"Not that I've heard."

"You think she would've showed up?"

"I don't know." Jungkook shrugs, looking down at his shoes. "She got along with J-hyung. I feel like that could've been strong enough to bring her out. From a distance at least." He says blandly, tired of holding any emotion. Of thinking. He shifts his jaw. "That doesn't matter anymore. We gotta stop bringing her up. You have to stop being like this."

"You think I don't know that?"

"Apparently not, hyung." Jungkook answers, looking over at his pale friend. The effects of the cold air on his skin have emphasized the dark bags under his eyes significantly. The fact that he's only wearing a thin T-shirt and sweatpants without his body carrying out the mandatory natural reactions to the low degree count anymore is concerning.

Taehyung clenches his jaw and looks back down at his shoes. At the moment, he doesn't have any words to respond with. No good ones, at least. And then he sees your face again. And he hears your voice. "You know, Yoongi-hyung's right." He exhales the stupid words as he lets his head hang some more, "How could he make her a part of my team and then kill her? Just like that?"

"Don't—"

"What? Are you gonna act like nothing happened, too? Like you're not angry? Come on, Jun—"

"Hyung, stop."

"No! She was a part of my team—"

"Get it through your damn head, V! She wasn't a part of this team! She was never supposed to be!" Jungkook raises his voice a little, but not necessarily at Taehyung. Even he slumps back afterwards and closes his eyes. "She was—she was just a ticket on a train. A ticket that we were messing around with and let fly out the fucking window. That's it. The ticket's gone. We got kicked off the train." His voice softens. "It fell in the water under the bridge. It's ruined. Now we—now we just find another one."

"Fuck you." Taehyung stands on his feet, turning to look Jungkook in the eyes. But Jungkook can't bring himself to meet him. "You hypocrite." Taehyung follows, letting his frustration rise. "I convinced myself of that, too. I mean really convinced myself. And then who comes along to tell me she's a person? My teammate. Not a weapon. Not a damn ticket. A person. She is a person."