Parole (Hypernaturals 7)

Dumbassery, the Aftermath

When I arrived back at the bar, Holly was locking up. We had only been a few blocks away when I got out, and it took no time to run back. The 'run back' part was mostly Jessica letting me know how pissed at me she is.

"Hi again." I said with just enough volume to be heard, but not enough to scare her.

"Huh? Oh. Hi." Holly had been distracted by her operations.

I walked slowly up to her, and then, got on both knees, head bent. "I am sorry. Very deeply sorry. I beg your forgiveness for what I said in there. I was thinking about Helen, but I was not thinking about you, and that is unforgivable. Still, I hope you will."

I was looking at the ground so Holly's voice came from above me. "Oh, fuckin' hell. Get off the ground, ya asshole."

I heard the lock click. "Come inside. Let's talk. Ok?" Holly waved me in the open door. I got up, and walked into the dark bar, not that bars or night runs are dark to me anymore.

Holly re-locked the door, and went to the bar, and flipped on a light underneath it. She pulled out a bottle of tequila, and two glasses, and we sat at the bar and she poured.

"Ya know, studly? I am used to being treated like shit. Most dudes in here, all they want is to see my boobs and get in my jeans. You are the first dude I ever threw myself at that walked away. I got it. Ya know? You had Jessica, and she owned your ass. I mean owned it. I could live with that."

"I kinda get it. I am sorry. I never ever meant to treat you like any other men in your life. I was thinking about Helen, and not about you. That was stupid. I am stupid. It's complicated. I know Helen likes you and likes being with you, and I was trying to make that OK for her. Now I hurt you and seriously pissed off all three of my wives, at the same time and for the same reason. I am a fucking idiot."

Holly looked at me sideways, lifted her glass "To a god damn fucking idiot."

We toasted and tossed back the shots. She refilled.

"So. I am glad Helen still wants to be with me, after all this time. Even after she had that cute little bambino. I am. That part is nice. Your set up an' delivery was total shitballs. Ok. I don't get your whole dealio, ya know? Any dude I know would be happy with only one of them chicks. I have been with Helen, so I know what the fuck I'm talking' about, right?"

We toasted that and drank. She refilled.

"So it's complicated. Tell me. You owe me." Holly demanded.

I looked at the bar. Sighed deeply. "Ok. Some of this is personal and not mine to tell. I have already been an asshole enough tonight. High level: Helen has been feeling low. Our Poly thing. Has her asking questions. I can't tell you details about it because she told me in confidence. OK?"

I realized upon shamed reflection that Helen's expressed worry about how close Jessica and Morgan are becoming festered in the back of my mind and motivated part of this but I can't tell Holly that a five-hundred-year-old master of her own universe is feeling like she is on the outside looking in.

"Ok... And?" Holly prompted.

"And. Well. I wanted to help her. She has given me so much. So much love. A baby I adore more than life itself. And. Well. This part is mine to tell. I was raped a while back, and Helen was there to pick me up and put me right. I needed her so much. I don't know how to repay her. I fucked up pretty hard trying. I mean: I KNOW she likes being with you, and you with her, and all I could think about is that it might help her to be with you, and I was not thinking of the fact that I was treating YOU like your opinion in the whole thing did not matter. It DOES, but I was not thinking. Focused on Helen and her thing. She held me when I cried. Kicked my ass. Loved me. I have a really good friend, Rachel, who loved and accepted me. She got me going. Helen KEPT me going. I couldn't be as open and vulnerable with Jessica and Morgan at first. It hurt them that I could not immediately have THEM be that person in my life but... Different relationships. Helen was there for me. In trying to help her, I gave myself a setback. I hurt YOU with being so cavalier about what you might want. Usually, my emotional intelligence is pretty high, but sometimes when it intersects with the rape, I just act without thinking."

Holly poured a super-stiff one for each of us. We drank in a single hit.

"Dude. That is heavy. I am not even sure what ta say to that. I'm sorry man. I have been there. Ya can't work in a bar and look like me and not have something like that happen. Ya know? I never knew a dude who has been though. Wow." Holly shook her head and stared down at the floor for a moment. My EQ was online enough to know to be quiet.

Holly poured. That bottle was going to die soon.

"Ok. We are both survivors. Right?" Holly asked, holding up her glass. We clicked. "Then I say fuck it. Here is the deal. I will forgive your ass, but you gotta do me a solid."

"Whatever it takes." I agreed.

"One, you gotta get right with your girl. You make her happy, the right way this time." Holly tipped back a finger on one hand.

"Fair enough." I agreed.

"Two: You all better not wait so fuckin' goddamn long before you come to see me again. I mean it. You owe me lots of visits and lots of fuckin' tips." She tipped back two fingers

"Also fair enough." I further agreed.

Three fingers. "Three: You never do that to me again, hon. I don't know if I can actually kick yer cute little ass, but I can sure as hell try."

"I would let you. Completely fair." I agreed.

Pour. Drink.

I waited for more. "Anything else?"

"Naw." Holly waved dismissively. "I'll talk to your girl. She wants to do somethin' with me, we will. None of your damn business if we do or don't."

"Understood." I bobbed my head.

"And maybe I'll see if she'll turn this whole thing around. Ya know?" Holly gave me a look. I could not decide what kind. I guess my EQ is not fully enabled yet.

"Uh. No?" I answered, not following.

"You was looking to set her up with me so she'd be happy. Maybe I check with her about getting a roll in the sack or ten with you so's that I can be happy, just to make it all square." Holly explained.

"Uh... Really?" I asked, thinking I am in no position to refuse.

"Kiddin' pudding'. I'd have to make that arrangement with all of 'em, now wouldn't I? Ok. Finish that drink and get the hell outta here. I gotta call me cab cuz I am now too drunk to drive. If I have any more, I'll forget to ask Helen for permission and take your tight ass to a cot I got back there in the office. Ain't comfortable. Other hand? You can keep three women happy? Might be worth a crappy cot to see what the fuck that is all about."

I waited outside until the cab took Holly away. I told her that someone would come get me.

Then I leaned up against the building and thought about things. First and foremost: I don't actually keep three women happy. Example: This evening. I pulled out my phone and looked at the time. Then I put it away and looked around the parking lot at the trees and the brush, watching small glowing animals moving about their night business, and remembering when I was living in the woods in Europe, running from the HPA.

I like the woods now. It's a safe spot for me.