Just stop ( Depressed Midoriya x Bakugo )

Actually caught

Izuku POV

'Im disgusting, I'm ugly, I'm worthless, I'm a nobody, I'm a burden, I'm a let down, I'm a failure, I'm disgusting, I'm so disgusting, I feel so dirty.'

I've been sitting in the bathtub for god knows how long crying to myself. Today is a school day and I will be going to school but I can't manage to will myself out of the shower. I've spent so long scrubbing trying to get this man off of me I feel so dirty, so small, so worthless. My bodies become red and raw from all the scrubbing I've been doing. The thoughts of that man violating me, touching me so very present in my mind. I've managed to push away the only person to ever show any form of care for me in the last ever. I'm a pathetic excuse of what I'm supposed to be. The scrubbie still scrapping skin off my body because of the force I'm using. Yes going at my body so hard has reopened a bunch of my cuts, irritated a bunch of my bruises but I couldn't stop I really felt disgusting.

When I finally had enough leaving my skin raw and injured I stepped out of the shower. Staring into my reflection  the only thing I could see was a shell of a person. I looked ugly, disgusting, fat, tired, lonely, depressed. Trying to mask myself again I attempted to smile. The fake smile that no one saw past that I managed to put on every single day. For some reasons though today I couldn't smile, I couldn't even make the corners of my mouth twitch upwards. I went back to my room to rewrap my injuries before slipping on the school uniform. Once again I proceeded back to the mirror making  a few desperate attempts to smile. I finally decided that no matter how hard I tried to today I would not smile.

I decided to grab a sick mask to out over my face, making up an excuse of I was sick and that was the reason I showed up late. It was a flawless plan to be honest. All I had to do was make my eyes look happy and knowing I had automatically happy looking eyes and if not I could blame it on being suck, this was a fool proof plan.

Finally ready to face the real world I leave my safe apartment to meet the dangers of the bustly road. Everytime I crossed an alley I slowed down and urge myself to move on. Everytime my chest would fill with panic. I must not be the only victim. I don't think I'll ever get better. In an alleyway is where I lost my first, to a grown man I've never met. I did think I was never gonna have a first as I didn't think I was gonna last that long but I still wanted to hang onto that, still have a part of me. 'What are hero's even for? What do we actually protect? All were after are the big guys the fame what about the little things that go unnoticed?' My thoughts consume me as I slowly walk into the UA premise. As soon as I realize where I have ended up I take a giant breath in and out on Deku, the hero who wants to protect everyone. Honestly I think in the future I might become a underground hero one that does little good deeds like a friendly neighborhood Deku. As friendly as someone slowly dying on the inside can be.

I walk into class to have everyone's eyes staring holes through me. Looks of confusion, worry and indifference filled most of the looks. Except Kacchan's which showed pure relief, as if he's been waiting for me to walk through those doors the whole time. Wait ... Nope nevermind that's hatred. Of course it's hatred he had to take care of a worthless soul like me, for a whole night!

" You're late Midoriya, care to explain why because if you want to be a hero you can't be late or skip class." Aizawa glared at me with accusing eyes. 'Have I ever been someone to skip? Unpurposely be late for school?'
I noticed I've been zoned out for awhile and shake away this airy feeling inside of me.

"N-no sir I was s-sick, it-t just took me a bit to get here n-not feeling the best you know? B-but can't miss school."
Damn stupid stutter of mine I really have to work on that.

" Yeah, yeah take your shit I mean seat  ... I don't get enough sleep for this stuff."

I slide into my seat and grab my notebook out of my bag. Instantly my mind fades out of the world. It's probably the fact that my injuries hurt so much. Kacchan did try his best but he really no clue what he was doing. I bet a bunch of them are infected or aren't properly healing.
Disgusting
No not right now
You should cut you piece of shit
Stop
Actually you should go for it would be doing everyone a favor
Please stop... Just stop...
Cut cut cut
No just stop please stop