5 Past Loves: What (CNCO- Zabdiel)

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What I loved was an old friend. Someone who was really much more than that though. He was someone I met early in college and kept in touch with throughout the years after. We saw each other grow and change through multiple relationships. He saw my ex-boyfriends and I saw his ex-girlfriends as they came and went over and over again.

Being there for each other was something that became almost something of a habit as we watched each other change and grow. It was one of the things I loved the most about him. The fact that even at my worst, he treated me like the best only made me cherish our bond even more. Nothing seemed to ruin what we had. Even the fact that we both knew that something more could come out of this connection.

The countless hours spent together as we poured our hearts out to each other over cups of coffee and the endless nights spent in each others homes watching movies and making jokes were what made our bond so special. It was something I never really found with any of my past relationships. The sense of ease and comfort that I felt with Zabdiel was something that was never replicated or found as easily with anyone else.

Personality, humour, taste. It was all there we were almost perfect. The only thing that wasn't perfect was our timing. No matter what happened, timing never worked out for the two of us. I was never single when he was and vice versa. It almost felt like the universe was playing some cruel joke on us. With all the failed relationships that surrounded us and the chance for something seemingly perfect always being just out of reach. What was this supposed to mean?

We were never single at the same time and what we loved about each other was never enough to leave who we were with. This was something we eventually had to face and accept. And we had to leave what we had behind.

And that was what I loved.

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