Pistanthrophobia - swaggersouls fanfic-

3.4

An entire month it has been and he hasn't even tried calling once. He's posted videos and live streams and he seems perfectly fine. Me..?

"Max?" there was a knock on the door "please... go away" my throat hurt so badly from crying so much, I have a bag on the side of my bed from throwing up and i'm not even sick. I've been so depressed. Its my fault, I know. I broke up with him, I left him, I left Australia - I couldn't of just stayed in a relationship that doesn't have a trustful foundation.

The door opened and the light from the hallway broke into my dark ass room. My body was tangled in my sheets and I felt like i couldn't move. "Max you gotta eat please?" He was so worried about me.

John graciously took me in and set me up in his apartment. We had this planned since I was staying at the hotel with Jay and Chloe who are now broken up and im pretty sure Jay is with someone else now. John said if Swagger still did not trust me and I wanted to leave I could stay with him. I didn't want to live in that house anymore so we quickly went over to my place and got all of my clothes and necessities packed before anyone got home, except I ran into Cameron.

He knew what was going on and he understood completely. He just gave me a hug and would tell Mason and Swagger when he got discharged from the hospital.

Now a month later they're doing fine, I will get a text from Mason twice a day - once in the morning and once at night - but me? I have been put on medication for my depression that I put myself in and I don't even take it because I hate how it makes me feel.

John was talking to me but I wasn't listening, instead he yanked me and set me up on the bed. "John please just leave me be.." I groan and as I go to lay down he quickly catches me and throws me over his shoulder. He walks over to the closest that has mirror doors setting me down next to him. Compared to his 6ft lookin ass I look like a midget, a whole foot shorter than him. "Look how much weight you have lost, you have dark bags under your eyes, your lips are crusty as hell, I haven't seen this much acne on your face since we were a thing.. you gotta get up and at it"

Damn bitch you didn't have to kill me like that.

We agreed on hanging out in the living room and watch youtube as chinese was being made, John would have to go pick it up when it was done.

My phone buzzed and I looked to see it was Mason.

hope u had a good day, would
like 2 hear from u <3 i miss u alot
text back noob..

I decided to text back.

my day was fine thx for worrying
bout me <3

He texted again saying how happy he was that I texted back but I wasn't in a texting mood so I just left it as that. John had left to go get the delivery, he asked if I wanted to go but I said that would be too much. But waiting at home alone was almost like being in my room almost more lonelier.

My phone started buzzing repeatedly, probably John asking about something.

I look at my phone and there was the broken red heart emoji that I put as Swaggers contact name. I started to tear up and shake a bit but instead of declining or ignoring it my thumb slides the green button and presses the phone to my ear.

"h-hello?"

I said trying not to sound like I have been swallowing my sorrows for the past month on my sheets.

"holy shit you actually answered.."

He was almost surprised. I don't blame him.

"do you need something?"

"to talk to you.."

I paused and wondered if this was a good idea.

"what about?"

Im a dumbass.

"How have you been?"

"Ive been good, you?"

fat lie...

"Its been rough since you left, Mason
told me you texted him so I thought I could
give you a call"

"oh well hey"

good what a way to make it awkward.

"where did you go...?"

I couldn't tell him i'm with John he would think that i'm screwing him..

"Some place far and where I needed a
break to think about shit.."

John texted me and said he was on his way up with food and to open the door for him.

"Listen I need to go."

"Wait Max can I tell you something"

I paused and thought about it.

"Please..."

"hurry"

I could hear him catch his breathe.

"I love you.. I truly do im in love with you and I don't say that lightly. I'm not in love with your looks or with the things you have. I'm in love with the person you are. I loved our deep conversations and our old random drives to anywhere. I loved the fact the you are the first person I want to tell everything to, anything from good or bad. You were my to go to, my safe place. You don't see the world as a fairytale like I do, you see it for the actually reality it is. You gave me the reality checks I needed but you always stayed there for me. Through thick and thin we'd always be together. You kept me going sometimes and yeah you are the first thing I think about when I wake up but it's more than just that. You know me better than anyone, maybe even more than I know myself and I know just the same about you. I get butterflies seeing you and I do know you are the only person I want to spend my life with. I want you to see that the little things in life are the most important and you make me look at life as a whole picture. You're my ying to my yang, we see the bad and good together. Yet, this isn't the right time for us and I know one day it will be. I know not know but years to come when we both grow up more and grow into our own. Just know I will always have that love for you in my heart forever"

I started crying but I hung up before he noticed which was perfect timing since John almost kicked the door down.

Getting up I opened the door and he looked at me "was I gone for too long?" He shuffled to the kitchen with our food and I whipped away tears and I shook my head "Im good" I smiled and he handed my plate of food.

For once I was starving to eat.

---------------------------------------
damn should i do a sequel?

oh shit

lol yall dont know

thats the end of the book :)
sorry to

burst
your
bubble
but if its most recommended ill do sequel ;))