SUGAR

Twenty-Two

Sugar

Two days later..

I was officially a new woman. Knowing I had lost my virginity was really hard on me at first. I cried about it to Amir and was beating myself up on how easily I gave it away but he reassured me that he wasn't leaving me again. He was here to stay this time. It was easy for most females to go throwing it back with no remorse but for me it was different because how much I treasured my body. Before my daddy passed away he always reminded me my body was a temple and it just stuck with me. It added just a bit more value to me knowing nobody had me before. Plus, I had always been scared someone would just take it then leave.

It was kind of hard to believe what Amir was saying since I hadn't had anyone actually stick around or just really keep it a hundred with me but I needed someone badly. My head hadn't been in the right space and I didn't want to be alone. I was actually afraid of being alone right now. Within just these two days together I felt whole when I was around him. A certain sense of security in his presence. I was in a dark place and I don't know if it was because I gave myself to him or what but I felt closer to him in a way. I was just glad to know I had someone I was already comfortable to stick by my side. Even if it was just temporary.

I had gotten up for the day and showered putting on some of clothes I had brought with me. Amir had promised to take me out shopping today but I quickly declined. I had dealt with enough of Ant taking care of me and wanted to find opportunity to make my own money. I didn't need him to do anything more then what he'd already done. Amir seemed to be an extremely busy man. Hell, his phone was always ringing off the hook which he told me was strictly business. It went off a lot more then Anthony's I could admit. If Amir was getting money like that I wanted in, I still had plans to get my own place and this could be opportunity.

Within these days of being together we haven't spent very much time together as I would've liked. The time we had spent though was getting high as hell and fucking. It had kept my mind off things because when we smoke I'd almost lose sense of my surroundings and soon pass out. It didn't sound good but it sure as hell felt damn good. When I'd wake up it'll usually be the middle of the night and soon he'd have to be out again. I felt myself getting back addicted to smoking so he always kept me a blunt pre rolled if he'd left. And whatever weed he was slanging I could never finish it anyway. It was becoming my new coping mechanism that fast.

I had received a call from Patrice this morning while I was getting ready for the day. My heart quickened in my chest afraid that I could be in serious trouble knowing she had found Chad. So I ignored her first phone call until I received her text messages next. She insisted I call her back she had good be news to tell. She explained to me that I didn't have to be afraid and I had did the right thing and to call her if I could as soon as possible so I can speak with OJ. The message seemed legit so I decided to take the chance of calling him and at the first sound of his voice came the waterworks for us both. If you couldn't tell by now I'm kinda a emotional gangster.

I was so glad to hear my little brothers voice but even more happy to hear that he'd forgiven me. He didn't really care that I had left because Patrice explained to him it was for me to make a better life for us to be together. All OJ wanted to make sure is that I was coming back to him. He was just afraid of being alone just like me. He explained to me that he loved Patrice but he wanted his real family too. I was the only real family he had left. I promised him that I would make my way back to him asap. Hopefully I could convince Amir soon on taking me back to visit. Patrice had asked that I contact her again soon with dinner plans so we can discuss some things.. along with Amir.