Game of Patience

Chapter 38

Chapter 38

The smell of roast potatoes hit Brooke's nose as soon as she walked through the door. The smell of the sea salt and onions that her dad always put on the potatoes made her stomach growl tunefully. She kicked off her shoes, muddy from her run and walked into the kitchen.

"Smells great." She spoke enthusiastically as she walked over to the tap to pour herself some water. She had forgotten her water bottle on the run again. She gulped down a whole cup before pouring herself another one.

"Careful, it'll hurt your throat."

"I'm so thirsty."

"Should have taken your water bottle."

"So many things to remember, so little headspace."

"You're telling me. I've forgotten something, but I can't remember what. Guess you got that part of your memory from me, and the numbers from your mum."

"There's no veg."

"Ah, veg!" He opened the fridge and pulled out a selection. "Don't tell your mum, she'll think I did it on purpose."

"I'll take that secret to the grave."

"Good girl, I can always count on you." He winked as he took his selection over to the sink. "I think your mum wants to show you something, she's in the living room."

The living room was warm. The crackling of the wood on the fire was a sound Brooke always loved. It reminded her of home. The whole room was illuminated in a soft orange glow and her mum watched the flames as they did a quick foxtrot over the logs.

Her mum was holding a baby pink photo album, and was teasing the pages gently with her finger.

"What are you looking through, mum?"

"Come have a look." She waited for Brooke to sit down before showing her the page. "It's you as a baby. You were so tiny. You loved cuddles and could happily sleep on your dad's chest."

Brooke looked at the photos of her in a tiny baby-grow, sound asleep on her dad, who was also sleeping.

Her mum turned the page and Brooke saw herself age in the photos.

"You and Roger when he took you to that waterpark. We asked for loads of photos because we couldn't take you. Remember that? Roger said you only wanted to go on the biggest slides." She turned the page. "Your seventh birthday."

Brooke looked at her younger self, smiling, surrounded by all the officers. She remembered that day, for some reason, she wanted to spend it in the station with the officers. They threw a massive party and every officer attended between shifts. She was so carefree, had her whole life ahead of her.

The cream page flipped over, making a satisfying crinkling sound with each movement. She watched as she hit age eight, nine, ten, eleven. So many years, so many events, so many smiles.

"Do you remember your thirteenth birthday?"

"How could I forget? Dad baked a cake and ended up dropping it."

"He said it would be okay if we cut the top off, and he refused to bring it out again until he did the icing again." They laughed at the memory. It was a beautiful cake before, and even after, it was the best cake she had had. She would never forget that day.

Then her mum turned the pages and stopped at her fifteenth.

Brooke looked so happy, sitting next to her parents on her bed. They lent the phone up and put a self timer on so they could all be in the photo. It was meant to be a nice family portrait. But her parents had decided at the last moment to both wrap her in a bear hug and kiss her. Brooke was sat in the middle, her face looking up, laughing uncontrollably, being kissed either side by both her parents, her dad's stubble pressing into her cheek.

She smiled at the memory, still fresh in her mind. She looked at her mum who had tears running down her cheek.

"The last birthday we got to spend with you."

"The last?"

Brooke went to look at the photos again, but it was replaced by two coffins. Flowers sitting on both.

"It was a lovely send off. Everyone there, sharing memories. One big family, just like we always wanted you to have."

The funeral. How could Brooke have forgotten about the funeral?

She felt a hand rest on hers and she turned to find her dad sitting next to her. She glanced over to her mum who was still crying.

"The service was beautiful, thank you. I know it was hard, but you did so well."

The sudden realisation of everything hit her.

"Please don't leave me." Tears welled up in her eyes, the warmth stung them. "Please stay." She grabbed hold of both of their hands, holding them tightly in hers. She could feel their wedding rings, the ring she had bought mum for a birthday. She could feel their warmth in hers. "I can't do this alone. Please." She was sobbing, begging her parents to stay.

"Sweetheart." Her dad's voice was soft "You will never be alone."

"You mean Phillips? He's a good man, but he isn't you guys."

"We trust him." Her mum smiled sadly to her. She brushed a piece of hair out of Brooke's eye.

"Why did you place me with him instead of Roger?"

"You have both lost people dear to you. If anyone is going to understand what you need, it's going to be him. Trust him. He's a good man, and was a great friend to us."

Her mum turned the page and Brooke saw herself standing in her old school uniform.

"You make us so proud."

"I got expelled." She laughed.

"You stood up for yourself. Yes, maybe not the right way, but you know that. You've learnt from that, and what is school apart from a place to learn?"

"You're not disappointed?"

"It was something new to you, and you tried. School isn't for everyone. We wanted you to try it, to meet people your own age. You made a friend, that's all we wanted. We're so proud of you."

"Brooke." She turned to her dad. "You will never disappoint us. You have your whole life ahead of you." Brooke lent on her dad's chest, still clinging onto both her parent's hands. "We'll be with you every step of the way."

"I want to stay here, with you both." She sat up and looked at her parent's faces. "I love you both, I don't want you to leave."

"We love you too Brooke." Her mum was crying and smiling. "But baby you've got to wake up."

Brooke shook her head, hot tears warmed her cheeks. "No. I want to stay here."

"Baby, listen to your mum. You've got to wake up."

"Don't leave me." She turned to her mum. "You can't leave me." She could feel herself shaking. She repeated her words over and over.

"You'll never be alone. Never. We promise."

Her mum let go of Brooke's hand and took hold of her face, she leant forward and kissed her on the forehead.

"You'll never walk alone, we will always be inside you and we'll be together again one day. Me, you and your dad. But this isn't where you belong, not yet. You've got to wake up baby. Be strong. Wake up."

Brooke took one last look at her parents, and nodded. She closed her eyes tightly. When she felt her mum grab her hand again, she held onto both of her parents, refusing to let go.