Back to You

Ch.45

"Oh little man," Olivia cooed, holding her son in her arms as she gently rocked him to sleep. "You're gonna be one tomorrow." She held him close and brushed her lips against his forehead, leaving a tender kiss and she sniffled. "I can't believe you're going to be one. I remember the day I brought you home... the day my life changed forever. I realized what unconditional love was the day I held you in my arms. You have my whole heart Noah."

Elliot stood in the door way as she swayed with Noah and filled the room with her soft gentle voice.

"I never thought that I would ever be a mother ... you changed that. You made me a mother Noah, and I hope that I'm a good mom to you. I hope I can give you all of the things I never had. Love...stability....someone who will always be there for you," she quickly wiped at the tear that was making its way down her cheek. "I love you so much my sweet, sweet boy."

Elliot came into the room and wrapped an arm protectively around them, "You are everything he will ever need."

She looked up to him, her eyes glistening, "I want to be a better mother to him than my mother ever was to me."

"There is no comparison," he said instantly, kissing her forehead. "You are a better parent to him than any of our parents were to us."

She looked back down to Noah who had drifted off to sleep, kissing his head one last time and

whispering "I love you" into his ear, she gently lowered him into his crib. Moving back, she watched as Elliot rested a hand on Noah's back, rubbing gently before speaking so softly and quietly to him that she couldn't even make it out.

He took her hand and they walked out of the room, gently closing the door behind

them.

"What did you say to him?" She asked, looking up at him as they walked into their

bedroom.

He shrugged, "Nothing he didn't already know." A few beats of silence passed until he looked up to see her stating back at him, silently asking for him to continue. "First I told him that I loved him and then I told him that he has the best mother this planet has to offer ... that she loves him more than he will ever possibly understand. I told him that we are so grateful that he's our son."

She stopped pulling down the covers on her side of the bed and started at him. She moved over the bed towards him, standing on her knees so she was face to face with him. "How do you do that?" she asked genuinely.

He pushed her hair away from her face and  brushed his knuckles against her cheek, "I know you ... your every thought, every feeling, every doubt. I know you so well that I scare myself. I catch myself thinking about something, and I wonder if we actually talked about it but I can't remember the conversation and then I realize it's just something I feel...something I know." He kissed her forehead before moving down to his lips, "You're a part of me."

Her hands rested on his chest and his circled around her waist, "You're a part of me too...a truly amazing part. You're so intertwined with me that sometimes I don't know where you end and I begin...it would be impossible to ever tear me away from you."