Back to You

Ch.52

In the early morning light, Elliot watched Noah as he slept cuddled against his chest. 

Olivia had gotten called into work early that morning for a string of rape homicide cases that were plaguing the west side and the detectives were stuck. Elliot had tried to reason with her and get her to stay home but Olivia being Olivia, she fought tooth and nail until he finally gave up. Noah had fussed after Olivia had left so Elliot had brought Noah in to lay with him, eventually falling asleep on his Dad. 

Elliot brushed his fingers over Noah's back, enjoying the closeness he had with him. He never really got much of this with his other kids, still only getting little moments with Eli, but he enjoyed it. They were only little for so long and once those years were behind you...there was no getting them back. 

He felt Noah's heart beating against his chest, his breath coming out in even strokes and it made him think. In two months or less, he was going to be welcoming another child into the world...his seventh. His fourth son would be coming into this world in less than sixty days. It was unbelievable and completely mind blowing but so incredibly amazing. For all the bad he had done in his life, all of the things he had screwed, he had actually done something right...seven something's right. 

The very high points in his life and the very, very ,low parts of his life were all worth it. There isn't a single thing he would do differently if it meant he wouldn't be laying with his son in his arms, the son he had with Olivia Benson in his arms, and knowing that she was his wife...his pregnant wife who would be bringing their second child into the world. 

He took a deep breath and wiped at the tears that had formed in his eyes. It was so breathtaking to be a father...he never wanted to take one second for granted. He ran his fingers through Noah's hair and his mind wondered to his father. 

A father was someone you were supposed to love, someone you should know loved you and cared about you, and his father was just not that person. Elliot questioned whether or not his father cared and loved him as much as he loved his children. 

Elliot shook his head, none of that mattered now anyway, he had learned from his father's mistakes. He knew from experience exactly what a child wanted from their father because it was everything he wanted too. 

Noah stirred on his chest, his eyes fluttering open to the sunshine. He picked his head up from Elliot's chest and looked up at him, "Dada." 

Elliot smiled, "Good morning little man." Noah was all smiles and giggled as his Dad tickled his legs. "Let's get you some nanas," Elliot said, holding Noah to his chest as he slid off of the bed. 

Noah perked up, "nanas, mhm."

"Some nanas and cereal, then you can have a bottle," Elliot told him, settling Noah in the high hair. He mixed him up some cereal and scattered his bits of bananas and some blueberries out on the tray. "Are you gonna let me feed you or are you gonna be a big boy today?" Noah reached for the spoon, prying it from Elliot's and dunking it into his cereal, "Big boy it is." 

Once Noah had finished all of the cereal that hadn't ended up on him, Elliot cleaned him up and settled him in his lap on the sofa. Noah held the bottle up with his little hands and Elliot just watched him suckle, draining the bottle steadily. "You're growing up so fast, little man," Elliot cooed, kissing Noah's forehead.