Back to You

Ch.55

A/N: Thank you all for the reviews and the continued support. Feel free to leave me your thoughts and enjoy!

It was New Years Eve and the 1-6 had been swamped every day since Christmas. When she first started working at SVU she never understood why such a happy and joyous time brought out such harm and hatred, but she understood now. Something about the self hate and depression a perp suffered made them want, or need, to bring other people down with them. The holidays were the toughest times to be a detective, let alone be the commanding officer. 

Olivia had missed bedtime with Noah the last three nights in a row and checking her watch, it looked like she was about to make it four. Sitting at her desk with her head in her hands she did her best to fight off the need for sleep and the tears welling in her eyes. She sat back in her chair, rubbing her hands over her bump and sighed, "How are you doing little one? Do you miss your brother and your Daddy just as much as I do?" She closed her eyes for a moment, enjoying the feeling of her son moving ... a life she created kicking inside of her. "You know we're moving soon? We found this big beautiful house that can fit all of us in it, but don't worry, you'll have your own bedroom and it's going to be perfect. You see, you have three brothers and three sisters...I know, that's a lot of people. Your older brother Dickie is so happy you're a boy," she chuckled just thinking about how excited he was when they had told him the news, "You're going to break the tie between the boys and girls in the family. Your Daddy and I are gonna have to start looking for a name for you...you got any suggestions?" 

Olivia chuckled to herself, wishing it was that easy. Whenever she had some down time she would think of names but nothing ever stuck...ever felt right. This would be the name her son would have for the rest of his life and she wanted it to be strong, meaningful. She hoped that once she went on maternity leave her and Elliot could look through the books and find something they liked, but she didn't think she would be able to completely settle on a name until she held her son in her arms, be able to see him and find out who he was. 

There was a light tap on the door and Fin came in, "How ya doin, baby girl?"

Olivia smiled softly, "I'm alright...pretty tired but that comes with the job, and pregnancy I guess." 

He chuckled, sitting in the chair across from her desk, "Why don't you go home? We can handle it here."

"As much as I would love that, we are already stretched too thin...Nick is off since Zara came home, half of the department is at home with their own families, and what little resources we do have right now are being pushed to the limit and we're still short handed," she said, putting her glasses back on and searching through a stack of case files until she found the one she was looking for. "Now I have to go watch an interrogation of a man who has been molesting his six year old daughter and it's taking all that I have in me not to walk in there and just shoot the bastard," she stated, brushing her hair from her eyes and trying to keep what little grip she had left on her emotions in check. 

"It's hard," Fin started, moving towards her and giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze, "Being a parent and doing this job, it's hard, but you're doing a good job at it. It's okay if every once in a while you need to take a step back and just breathe." 

She leaned against her desk, taking a deep breath. "I'm fine...I have to get out there," she said, brushing past him and out through her office door.