The heart of the ocean

9

Two weeks later: it was Thursday , it was a few months since we practiced for the end of the year theatre performance...

I remember a few months before, our teacher had us auditioning to choose the alleged actors who would be part of it. She told us to bring any our talent.

We were four of our class, including me.
One at a time we performed...
The first (Silas), was a very shy boy, who wanted to try, was so shy that he decided to hide behind the curtains of the amphitheatre, had to scream to be heard.
We were all stunned by the power of his vocal cords. The applause of encouragement from all of us started immediately, and he went out shouting, "I did it", he was so proud of him, and we too...

The second (Henry), was a very lively guy, all the opposite of the first, in fact he was used to making jokes in class, joking with everyone and trying to lift someone’s morale when he felt a little 'down. He also sang a song, precisely one of fabri Fibra (Italian rapper) "everyone dances except you, my drink looks just like tea, and a reason underneath there is..."

He even made a few dance moves, like he was in a disco, surrounded by a bunch of girls by his side, trying to woo them. A rather ridiculous, but very funny scene, in fact we all started laughing, but unfortunately was not admitted.

The third,(Katty) she sang too. Actually, I never liked that little girl so much. Maybe because we knew each other from grade school, and we were both known for our singing talent. We were rivals.
In fact for 3 years during the elementary period, came 2 women from a very large society, who took care of finding small talents within schools and then invited them to be part of their Milanese group composed of many children, who would then perform in theaters or special events.
I was chosen all three times, unlike her who was only called the senior year. I was so happy at the time, I felt like a step above her. I felt that I would reach my dream of becoming an actress and singing, singing to death. But many people did not believe in me, and this led me to refuse the first two years. However, the third I accepted. The meeting place was the church of the neighborhood where my older brother’s godfather lived: Brad. He visited us twice a year, at Easter and Christmas.
He always brought us gifts, and other things, other things, things for me, tailor-made.... A good person, I always thought he might one day become my second father because of the constant bickering between my parents, he was so kind with my mother, and he treated me like a princess, what my father never did, didn’t care so much about me, he always preferred my two older brothers.

Katty was taken.

I was the last one. At that time I was obsessed with Selena Gomez, I liked all her songs, so I decided to sing "Who says". Maybe I thought those words were a lot like my story.

With the paper in my hands, I tried to sing all my strongest emotions that I felt when I listened her. I studied the pronunciation a lot, I remember practicing  walking side to side, jumping on the bed , and then lying down once I got to the last note. I heard a choir shouting to me "very good".

I had finally been taken.

We practiced a lot, studying the script sheets, day and night. Finally, however, the most important day arrived, (Friday, May 17, 2013), perhaps for many it might seem an unlucky day, but I don’t believe in these things. It was a day that remained in my mind in the following years.

I didn’t go to school that day so I could repeat all my parts of the script. Hours passed, and about one o'clock in the afternoon, my mother received a phone call from the school secretary. They told her I was late for rehearsal, and I had to get there as soon as possible.

As soon as my mother told me, I was a little shocked because I remembered very well that the teacher the previous day after having delivered to her my dress of my communion that served for the recitation being a betrothed bride, told me and Elias,  that we were supposed to be there at 2:30 in the afternoon...

However I took everything, and I ran more than Usain Bolt in a 100 meter race.

Arrived to school there was no one, it was almost empty... I went to one of my professors, who told me I wasn’t late, and that the rehearsals would start around 2:30.

I thought it was a joke, but it was all true, I had to wait all the time, so I took refuge in the bathroom, to be more quiet, I was accustomed to loneliness...
At 14:25 pm, I set down on the stairs of the amphitheatre. All the other protagonists followed by the teacher arrived.

We started the final rehearsal. The teacher gave my friends the coolest microphones, the ones that are used during live shows, I was so excited, finally I could feel like a real star, one of those professionals, I knew all my parts by heart. I couldn’t wait to hear every mine single word, rumble in the minds of all the viewers, words full of feelings, words that I hoped they could perceive by opening the door of their hearts.
My dream vanished when the teacher told me that being the last in line I had not been able to get one, having already given them to others.

I felt very disappointed with her, she knew how many we were, and could order the right number... She relieved me saying that I had a very powerful voice, and that I would make everything tremble with my skill, even if I would not use that microphone.

At that moment, as she was going to pick up some things from next door, I asked her to bring my wedding dress to me, to have it ready there in case something happened. With the look of a listless person she told me that she would take it later, and that she would waste her time because she didn’t have the keys with her.

I was shaken, but the excitement of the performance, get the thought out of my head. I didn’t understand her attitude, hours of work to perfect every single scene....
Finally we were all perfect, only my dress was missing .....

Ten minutes to the beginning... We were all live, excited, the amphitheatre began to fill up, instead behind the scenes, there were those who repeated their parts, who made strange gestures with the hands as "Sharpay", who put on costumes and various masks, and then there was me, that I realized that I had not yet in my hands my beautiful dress...

I asked the teacher for the last time to pick it up, or that someone pick it up for us, but nothing, she said to me that it was too late and that I would do without, I would use a simple white T-shirt...

Whole weeks, begging me to bring it to her, and two seconds to realize it would be moldy in some school classroom, because she didn’t want to. Maybe she get jealous of my beauty, when I showed her how good it looked on me. I don’t know, but I felt disappointed for the second time...

The play passed soon, when then came my moment of the fateful "yes"... All the people stood up, the first to rise were the two friends of Maddy, who shouted in chorus "kiss, kiss".
I never felt a sense of physical, or mental attraction to him, but I didn’t take away the fact that he was a smart guy to make serious, interesting speeches with.
In that moment he looked at me in a strange way, as if he wanted to reassure me, that he would not steal from me that magical kiss that every girl hopes to give to the right person, he understood that it wasn't up to him.
Very gently he put his hand on my face and gave me a kiss on my forehead, then caressaing my face he did a small smile... Everyone stood up, whistled and applauded, the play ended.

When I returned home, I began to cry thinking about what had happened, I give a kiss is an important thing, there must be feeling by both persons, two souls unite, two hearts warm up, two minds quarrel, all the atoms in our bodies intertwine...

How can you kiss without feeling? But especially how can you ask to kiss just for scene? And you will say: well, if you’re an actress, you had to.... Yes, I am an actress, but first of all I am a human , a woman, a minor, but always a woman...

I turned on the television, and I put my favorite channel, the "47".... A new musical world was about to enter in my life... There was a program about a group called "One Direction". They were very well known at the time, everyone was talking about them, I was very sceptical, but I still decided to watch the show, even though my father didn’t want to. I set in front of the TV with strength, and I watched it until the end, then I went to look for more information about them.

I liked them a lot, who hit me most of all was Zayn Malik, a cool guy...

In the evening, I lay down on the bed, and between tears of joy and suffering , I fell asleep, waiting for another day, to face every day, perhaps with a little more strength and a few tears less.

All of a sudden it was dark...