The heart of the ocean

What now

After the holidays, once back at school I and many of my companions began to prepare for the recovery courses of the first quarter. Luckily, unlike the previous year, I had been able to have the minimum enough in French and many other subjects except English and mathematics. In Latin I was also able to have the sufficiency thanks to the very good professor we had, who was more human, humble and intelligent; everyone loved him, he was nice and making class with him was always a pleasure. He could not only be a professor but also a father, growing up as a person was more important to him than anything, not only would books shape our future and certainly being rigid and strict he knew that he would not get our best result.
The same thing was true for our Spanish teachers of that year when I was doing strangely well with an average of eight, unlike the year before the 6th. Luckily the subjects were few, but the effort began when I realized that in addition to us, In the various hours of recovery there would have been also David with some students of my former class. Even there, unfortunately that distracted me a lot, but despite that I spent many afternoons studying. I remember that during the math recovery Sina and I were always alone with the professor.

We spent a lot of hours practicing with that teacher, even though she wasn't not our regular teacher. One at a time, he put us to the test to prepare us perfectly and to recover every one of our shortcomings. The days went by, and we also started to like spending all that time together and then going out of school and eating an ice cream or just sitting on the street chatting waiting for spring, and then accompanying her to the door of the house for chatting about everything, of every boy seen in the halls.
For some weeks now we had noticed a guy who seemed to have the same origins as us, during the break we often looked for him among the crowd of guys to make sure of our theory; we were the only ones with Ethiopian/Eritrean origins, and we would have liked to know that we had someone to make friends with and maybe eat our typical dish. Besides him there was a boy who liked very much Margherita of the other class next to ours, dreamed of being able to stay one day with him, Sina instead was very skeptical about love. She thought that we couldn't understand the true meaning at our age, that we could only feel a physical attraction, perhaps due to the increase in hormones, we still had to grow to be able to appreciate it in every detail.
Despite her thoughts, however, she spent a lot of time listening to me, wiping away my tears, giving me advice even though I was always repetitive about my feelings.

I needed a sister, and besides being a sister, she also became a mother. She was mature despite being younger than me, I used to bang my head against the walls of life, trying to knock them down with only my hands and my forehead that although wide would not be able to destroy all those bricks buried in my brain that prevented me from seeing anything else, someone or something that would made me really happy.
Many times I also attended the other lessons of mathematics that she did, it was a less enhanced course because addressed to people with few gaps, but this gave me the opportunity to speed up learning time, few people chosed that way; perhaps not to waste hours of their precious time; but for me it was only an enrichment not only cultural but also moral and psychological.
Once we entered the class we all followed the lesson, we had a lot of fun, even just the fact that we were many students of different courses attending a single lesson allowed us to make new acquaintances and in addition to learning new things.
Alessandro was present, a dark-haired boy with black eyes who one day sat down in front of us and began to talk to us, courting Sina for her beautiful braids; he was really nice. Another very nice guy was Cremonesi, a blond boy with blue eyes, he looked like the classic prince that many girls dream of marrying since they are young; he was very lively, he liked to appear but not for vanity he was charismatic by nature; It reminded me a lot of Ludovico and all the hours spent laughing with the class for his jokes and interruptions of Italian and history lessons.
In addition to them in our imaginary boat were present Pollastri, Bonelli and Milani. One day Milani when I was passing through my corridor I saw him leaning against one of the many radiators, he kept staring at me, but being close to Margherita I continued to ignore him as if he were invisible. Margherita and I had gone to talk to a girl from the class closest who was very nice to us, he was right there, and once approached her he began to tell me "what the fuck do you want?" I was shocked by those words because I wasn't waiting for him to speak to me, I didn't understand what he wanted, what those words meant that didn't make any sense since we had not spoken before. I looked around to see if there was someone, if he was addressing another person, if maybe I was the one to draw conclusions too hasty; they were all turned elsewhere to mind their own business, to chat with friends,to laugh and joke while I could content myself to make a smile thanks to the clown that I was having in front of me. For sure that what was happening was true, I answered in the same way, perhaps in a naive way, I could only answer by saying: "certainly your no", but I decided to leave after our conversation had become so boring and repetitive;I did not say goodbye;I didn't even greet him perhaps because it would just be a farewell, that time was the last time I spoke to him in person. I never thought he'd stoop to those levels, did he think I'd be crying at his feet? Only in church I would have done this, only to my God, the only God father son and Holy Spirit who had helped me to overcome all the difficult situations ,he certainly made me cry, cry of laughter. That day there were still the afternoon lessons of recovery, and Sina and I managed to enter the class of Turati, we entered to take his bottle with which we had seen hello had played half an hour earlier. We wanted to give her a special gift, which we hoped would make her happy. The next day, as soon as we entered, we went to her with a joy printed on our faces, The days passed and the days of recovery of the first quarter were getting closer and closer. I remember Sina telling me that David the day before, he kept coming into our class during the recovery, and he kept looking for someone and then every time he walked away from the door and went who knows where.
He was looking for someone, but the only person he knew of that group was me, Sina always told me that maybe he wanted to meet me, maybe seeing me always with her he thought that even in that course he would find me but he didn't. One of those days she and I went to the mall near school after recovery to have some company, the weather started to get a little warmer, we needed to stay a little outdoors to live every moment without locking ourselves up at home. We decided to buy some sweets, including the ones I had never tasted and other cream puffs. I also wanted to bring a cake home for my family. So I started looking in the cakes aisle, and Sina positioned herself in front of me.I couldn't see what was going on behind my back. Suddenly after several minutes of searching I decided to buy the Sacher to be safe, everybody liked my mom, too. At a certain point I asked Sina for an opinion, but after several attempts that I received no answer, I raised my voice but nothing, I managed to glimpse her motionless shadow;I began to worry because I thought she was sick.I looked at her face and I realized that she had become all red, I could feel a mixture of fear, embarrassment and fear; I noticed that she looked at a fixed point with her eyes wide open behind me,So I decided to turn around and see what was going on. There was David, alone, walking right next to us, I began to feel a burning fire inside my body that reached within seconds every part of my brain.