The heart of the ocean

Nulla accade

Second year:

On the first day of school new boys entered the classroom, two girls and one boy: Carla, Sam and Iryn. Iryn had studied in a language high school like me, and than I found out she was a very smart girl, she always had high grades. Unfortunately we could not become friends, because of the professors who continued to put us in constant competitive battle.We spent our days studying like crazy to get the highest grade in the class.We didn't realize that it would get us anywhere. The selfishness that grew in me became much.
During the year I started to get further and further away from my friends in order to study to exhaustion,I was looking for the perfection that I could never reach because what the teachers put on the plate was just the leftover of what they had eaten the day before... I studied in vain to fill the ego that wanted a ransom from years past, to be able to prove that I was capable of something.I did not study to learn, because the more I studied I showed to be able to demonstrate and to explain the topics,The more professors required a higher level, the more time it became almost insurmountable just for me and Iryn.

By now we had become puppets to them, and they the spectators to lead the show. They laughed at us making us fight like lions in a cage in a circus, like bulls at a bullfight we had become ridiculous not only in their eyes, but also in our own who unfortunately had been covered up as if we had been psychologically drugged by mafia people. All the people I was surrounded by were mobsters, even my father, all but me. That girl and I had a lot in common, we thought the same way, and maybe that's why we couldn't fuck ours mind each other.
I never thought my father would agree to sign for my mother to start what happened to us in 2000, I never thought he'd agreed with every person in the hospital and then decided to shut up just because he filled his mouth with money... Harry lived in my same neighborhood, he knew exactly where I lived.I was the first person he approached with, and after we got to know each other he came to find me at home with his friends but I had no intention of knowing them because all criminals.

He sold drugs and in fact did not take long to join the class group despite his tender age. I remember that the more time passed, the more I started to feel something for him even though he was smaller than me, I found something different in him than all the guys. Having been moved from the bench by the professors, I had the opportunity to talk to him about every topic that crossed my mind, made my head spin in every way. When I was close to him I didn't follow the lessons anymore like I don't care enough about it. Age was not a problem at all, he was sometimes a bit childish and anyway he had not completely made his armor but I liked him. We spent a lot of hours looking into each other's eyes, both leaning their heads on the bench, had caramel-brown eyes.He had beautiful eyes, but I didn't want to fall in love and get hurt in the future. I remember that every day he brought me pictures of his friends who were in prison and he talked to me a lot about the fact that they would go out soon and that he couldn't wait no more to see them because he missed them very much.

I was curious about the stories he told me and all the professors began to make various voices about us making everyone believe that we were engaged when it was not true.We never ended up dancing, unfortunately for the naivety of both that prevented us to come forward. Let's say one thing was what led me to move away little by little from him even if I loved him deeply, even if from there soon we could had became engaged...
We used to make the way back from school to home together,I helped him in all the tests, I helped him trying to get him high grades like mine, I tried to explain the things he did not understand, in short I worried about him and I wanted only the best. One day, on the way back, I realized that I was madly in love with him, and when he spoke to me I could not pay attention to his words, almost drooling, I told myself not to fall in love so easily but I could not control my feelings that always went against my every thought. I accepted it all, succumbing to love as I did every time in my previous life.Cupid was angry with me, he wanted to rebel with the wrong person, who suffered from broken hearts like liquid crystals. When I arrived to Corvetto, Harry, being a gentleman, gave me the right of way to get off, but I told him that even though I was a woman, I didn't need that shit and that he had to go out first.
That fight lasted until a few seconds before the doors closed, when he then went out and I had no time and I was then forced to exit at the next stop and then go back. I don't say much, but I naively thought he'd make a few more stops with me, and then find us in the middle of nowhere and chase us around like crazy people looking for love as if it were more than an action movie.I got too paranoid,And then the next day, I got yelled at with a classmate of mine.