The heart of the ocean

💡...Drag me down...💡

Second day of school:

That day I woke up very tired, a little afraid for what could happen. I didn’t really want to go to school, but I decided to go to school to keep the promise I made to myself the day before. I wasn’t that hungry, and although I woke up very early, I didn’t have breakfast, I decided to head straight to school. I said goodbye to my family and left the house. As soon as I arrived in front of the school, I saw the door closed, arriving almost forty minutes before 8:00.
As soon as the doors opened I decided to sit in the black sofas that were placed in front of the reception classes of the parents in case there had been an interview. Those classrooms were usually closed in the morning. I sat down and put the headphones in my ears to listen to all those songs that I had downloaded during the summer, and then they would be the soundtrack of that time of my teenage years. The phone remained the one that my father bought for me before the beginning of middle school, but it did his duty, I used it as an iPod and I listened to music I could feel less alone especially when I saw my classmates enter and stand next to the radiators.
I decided not to get close to them, even though they called me and invited me to get to know each other better to make friends. I preferred to take refuge in music, to make myself feel at home.

 Once the bell rang, everyone went towards the belonging classes. I waited for my classmates to set out to avoid meeting them again on the stairs, and to not receive questions about the fact that I had preferred to be alone, instead of having wanted to talk with them. The missing part that didn’t get to school early began to enter the classroom. In the first hour we had Italian, in fact as soon as we entered the teacher greeted us and gave us the list of books that we should have buyed, or order as soon as possible in order to start the lessons with various materials.

Even though we didn’t have the books, she decided to explain. She told us to open the notebooks, she also explained that we were now entering a new phase of our school life, and that we had to learn to take notes in the lessons. It would no longer have served only the textbook, and that the subjects dealt with in class could have been part of verifications or future questions, she encouraged us very much... We had just entered, and she already tried to get us upsead repeating that the course we had chosen was not easy, that was not to be taken with ease, we would study in the afternoons of the years to follow in place of playing in the park, but that one day our efforts would be rewarded.

We were all afraid, but we had no choice but to take our new striped notebooks, open them, and start writing those few words that we could understand of what she was explaining.

I remember that I wrote almost a whole page. I was able to did it. I was trying to be very orderly, to make a good impression in front of her, I wanted to do my best to achieve my goal. The professor was very surprised selling that I was the only one who was writing, I was surprised too, since in middle school we were not given this opportunity to make notes on our own. After two hours of Italian, arrived the english professor, she showed up, and asked us to write on folded sheets of paper our name, and then later to put them in sight towards the professorship.

She told us to present ourselves in English, but I already had enough of hearing the various stories of my classmates who used that moment only to look more likeable and attractive, and to be possible candidates at the election of class representatives. It was like elettoral campaign. I preferred to stay aside, I didn’t want to open up. I said only from where I came from, since the professor was looking me in a strange way seeing me with dark skin and an Italian last name.

She brought with her a folder with so many papers... And after we introduced ourselves, she immediately decided to let us take a surprise English test to test our language skills. The test lasted half an hour, and every alumn that ended it all, should have sit next to her to get a picture taken. She decided to take a picture of each of us in alphabetical order. She said the papers with our names on our desks wouldn’t have served, since besides learning the names she would had to learn even our faces. I’d watch my classmates finish the test one by one, and lay the damn paper on the desk. The minutes continued to pass, I was feeling a certain pressure, I did not understand from where was coming all that anxiety and why I felt suffocated when I and another classmate had not delivered yet.