Saviour (an Ashley Purdy Love Story)

Chapter 18

And that's when I woke up.

I looked around at Motionless in White's bus, and at a sleeping Ricky next to me, and just let the pain crash into me.

"It was just a dream," I kept mumbling to myself as tears spilled down my face.

I was still on the couch. Ashley had never come to talk to me. He'd never given Ricky a letter for me. He'd never tried to kill himself. We'd never made up. None of that had happened. It had just been a very real dream.

I slipped out of Ricky's arms and went to the bathroom. It was about 5 in the morning. The sky was still dark, but I wasn't tired anymore. I had slept all day. And I never wanted to sleep again, for fear that I'd have another dream like that.

I looked at my phone after I finished getting ready for the day. It was almost 6. The boys wouldn't be up for another 6 hours or so. I had a lot of texts; about 30 from Ash, a few from Amy, and some from the rest of the BVB boys.

The ones from Ash basically said "I'm so sorry, I love you so much. Nothing happened, I swear, please forgive me."

Amy was also telling me that she was sorry and that nothing happened.

Andy wanted to talk to me. CC and Jake said they were worried about Ash and I, and Jinxx just said that if I needed anything, to let him know.

I decided to see if Andy was up yet. Are you up yet? If so, I'll come talk now.

I got an instant reply. Okay, meet me by the bus in 10 minutes. Don't worry, I'll be alone. Ash is still sleeping.

Thanks, Andy. See ya soon.

Then I headed towards their bus. He was already standing out there, smoking a cigarette. He smiled when he saw me and threw the cig down and stomped it out. "Hey," he smiled.

"Hi," I mumbled.

"So.." he began.

I just stood there awkwardly. I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to talk about it. I just wanted to get away from it.

"Look," he began. "Me and the guys are pissed at Ashley, but he keeps telling us that nothing happened. He may be a manwhore, but he isn't a liar."

Tears threatened to spill but I held them back. "Maybe nothing did happen. But, I can't trust him anymore. That's why I can't get over this. He was in bed with another woman. I don't care if nothing happened, I can't trust him. What if I wouldn't have caught him right away? Things may have gone farther. I don't know. And I can't just keep giving him chances only to find him sleep with other girls, Andy, I just can't do that. It may sound selfish, but I can't put myself through that," I babbled on as the tears began to spill.

His arms were around me before I even realized he had moved towards me. "It's okay, Emma, I understand. I just hate seeing you two like this..." he whispered.

"I hate it, too, Andy... I hate it, too."

We stayed like this for a few minutes, but then Andy said he was hungry, so we went to go get some food.

There was a cafe down the street, so we went there.

"So do you think you'll ever... forgive him...?" Andy continued as we sat down.

"Um... I don't really know..."

"Not get back together, just forgive him. Maybe be able to stay in eachothers' lives."

"That'll be difficult. Staying in eachothers lives'," I said as I looked down at my plate of pancakes. "I don't want him out of my life, in fact, the thought of that is so... painful... but I don't think being friends is really an option.."